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ProFootballTalk Comments of the Week Vol. 1.3

This week’s edition includes Al Davis’ ghost, Ken Whisenhunt, Tim Tebow, and one final appearance by Dhani Jones. Without further ado, your weekly reminder that NFL football fans can be the funniest, most passionate, and downright dumbest people on the World Wide Web.

For those of you that missed the PFT Comments of the Week debut, or if you want to know what the heck this weekly post is all about, you can get the lowdown here.

[Editor’s Note: Each heading links to the actual post at ProFootballTalk. Every comment posted is in its exact form; so don’t blame me for poor vocabulary or grammar issues. Comments are also attributed to their rightful owner, because at 4thanddone.com, we don’t do plagiarism.]

On final play, Raiders had 10 men on the field
Synopsis: On the final and decisive play of the Raiders/Texans game on Sunday, the Raiders intercepted Matt Schaub in the end zone to seal the win. Suprisingly, the Raiders only had 10 men on the field, one short of the 11 allowed. Obviously, because long time Raider owner and NFL legend, Al Davis, died the previous day, everyone is making a big deal of the situation, raving about Davis being the 11th player. Cute.
Comment from tallguyme: “please don’t reward Raiders incompetence”
Analysis: Good call. Ghosts don’t play football, only baseball… in cornfields. The hysteria about Al Davis being the 11th man on the play is crazy. I doubt he could cover an NFL receiver anyway.

Dhani Jones retires
Synopsis: Dhani Jones was an NFL linebacker. He played for the Eagles during their Superbowl run. He is retiring.
Comment from hillzmickelzon: “Dhani call Andy reid before you do that, he might be callin u keep the ringer on”
Analysis: First, of all, hillzmickelzon should request a refund from his English teachers. Use commas much? Anyway, this isn’t even slightly funny. The linebacker situation in Philadelphia is so bad right now that my intial reaction to reading this was, “hmmmmm.” The Eagles are so desperate for better linebackers that I didn’t even laugh when someone jokingly implied Jones returning to the Eagles. Not only did I not laugh, but I even considered the possibility. This is bad. Really bad.

Niners sign Brett Swain
Synopsis: The 49ers tried out a number of receivers on Tuesday to replace the injured Josh Morgan. Among them: TJ Houshmandzadeh, Chris Chambers, and Brett Swain. Obviously, they signed Swain.
Comment from trbowman: “TJ and Chris, this is your career – and this is the fork.”
Analysis: Whoa. Funny, yet harsh. And oh so true. It’s amazing how quickly NFL players, especially receivers and running backs, go from Pro Bowler to “can’t get a job.” Mr. trbowman is right, though. It’s time for TJ and Chris to find something else to do.

“You’re damn right I’m angry”
Synopsis: Cardinals head coach, Ken Whisenhunt, is unhappy with his team’s slow start. Apparently, talking to the media isn’t helping.
Comment from geezohman: “reminds me of ‘Bud Carson’ ”
Anaylsis: I could care less about the Cardinals and Whisenhunt’s mood. Obviously, this comment had little to do with the post, but I liked it because I saw “Bud Carson.” Naturally, I was reminded of a day when the Eagle defense could actually stop opponents. In fact, the defense often won games despite a mediocre offense. What I wouldn’t give to see Reggie, Jerome, Clyde, Seth, Byron, Willie T, Wes, Eric, Andre and the rest of the crew together. And yes, we’re on a first name basis.

Phillies melt under bright lights.
Synopsis: Despite a massive payroll, a stellar rotation of three Cy Young caliber pitchers, and a roster full of “superstars,” the Phillies collapsed in the postseason. 102 wins wasted.
Comment from 4thanddone“When you think of clutch, think of whichever pitcher is facing Ryan Howard in the postseason. They’ll never let you down.”
Analysis: Needless to say, it’s been a rough week. Whenever something devastatingly bad happens to one of my beloved Philadelphia teams, I go to my DVR for comfort. There, saved at the very bottom despite consistent objections from my wife, sits a 23 minute clip containing Jimmy Rollins’ 9th inning, 2 out, 2 run double to win Game 4 of the NLCS. I watch it to remind myself of happier times. You know, when clutch hitting was the Phillies’ forte and not a hideous wart.

Jon Gruden on Tim Tebow: Hard-nosed, clutch, premier, competitor
Synopsis: Gruden offered his opinion of Tim Tebow on ESPN radio. His analysis included “clutch” and “great competitor” among other compliments.
Comment
from shawon0meter: “Have Gruden describe Aaron Rodgers and Terrelle Pryor and you probably couldn’t tell them apart. His opinions are worthless.”
Bonus Comment from derikeve: “Gruden’s stance on everything – He/This is the best _________ I’ve ever seen.”
Analysis: So true. ESPN’s Monday Night broadcast is unbearable at times. One of the league’s fiercest and emotional coaches has apparently bought into the “trophy generation” culture. In Gruden’s opinion, every player is a “for my money, the best at blah blah blah.” I’m fine with him not being overly critical, but let’s not pretend like the people watching at home are totally clueless. We can see who’s good and who’s not. We know Gruden doesn’t really believe half the garbage that comes out of his mouth. He’s just keeping his coaching options open by playing nice on TV. ESPN doesn’t care if he’s driving us crazy in the process.

Vick on pace for 4,000 passing yards, 1,000 rushing yards.
Synopsis: Just to be clear, Michael Vick is currently on pace for 4,000 passing yards and 1,000 rushing yards. I hope that made sense.
Comment from batterychucker25: Vick is also on pace for a 3-13 record.”
Analysis: Laughing… moment of realization… no longer laughing… rendered speechless… and now depressed.

Yep, queuing up the J-Roll double for the 5th time this week. See ya.

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