Thank you, football, for coming back. I missed you.
Going with my Over/Under win totals again because I desperately need content for Week 1. I did not go 21-11 last season. It was far worse. I did not total up wins and make sure my selections are mathematically possible. In fact, I think I have way too many unders. I’m a pessimist. Anyway, thrilled to have football back. Can’t wait to spend hours doing all this for free.
Last Season: 124 – 129 – 3 (did not pick Week 17)
Season: 0 – 1 – 1
Wednesday Kick Off
I took the Seahawks. They pushed. That game was rough. Already feel awful about both overs.
Patriots over 10.5
Seahawks over 10.5
Thursday (8:20PM ET)
49ers 27 at Rams 7
This game is dumb. Way too important of a game to send across the world. [Update… all the research the Rams organization did was not helpful apparently.] Also, I had the Rams.
49ers under 9.5
Rams under 11.5
Early Games (1:00PM ET)
Buccaneers at Bengals
I’m in on both squads even though the Bengals are terrifying to back in any fashion. BUCCANEERS +4
Buccaneers over 8.5
Bengals under 10.5
Saints at Lions
This is it for Detroit. Too many question marks on the line. They played like a team that knew they missed their window last season. I fear this season may be worse. SAINTS +7
Saints under 7.5
Lions under 10.5
Jets at Titans
I can accommodate seven games based on how my televisions are set up for football (three single games and one multi-view). This is getting axed. TITANS -1
Jets under 5.5
Titans under 6.5
Ravens at Colts
I am worried about year two Danny Dimes off an injury. Very worried. COLTS +3
Ravens under 11.5
Colts under 7.5
Falcons at Steelers
I like the Steelers. I know, it’s dumb, but Mike McCarthy wins. STEELERS -5
Falcons under 7.5
Steelers over 8.5
Bears at Panthers
Want a horrible hot take? Caleb Williams kind of feels like the 6’1, 226 lb. version of Bryce Young, but with a far better coach. PANTHERS +3
Bears under 9.5
Panthers over 7.5
Browns at Jaguars
I like the Jaguars this year. I’m ready to be hurt again. JAGUARS -8.5
Browns under 5.5
Jaguars over 8.5
Bills at Texans
Josh Allen is too good not to win 11 games. I know everyone loves Houston’s defense, but I’m going to need some life out of CJ Stroud before I consider the Texans AFC contenders. BILLS -1.5
Bills over 10.5
Texans over 9.5
Afternoon Games (4:05PM ET)
Dolphins at Raiders
Even though I’ve gone almost eight months without NFL football, I’m not sure I’m going to be watching this one. DOLPHINS +3
Dolphins over 3.5
Raiders under 5.5
Packers at Vikings
Kyler Murray could be Baker Mayfield 2.0. Okay, probably not, but I’m interested to see him with an elite offensive coach. PACKERS +2
Packers over 9.5
Vikings over 8.5
Commanders at Eagles
I like the Eagles this year because they fixed depth issues on their offensive line and because Kevin Patullo is on South Beach. With that said, games against Washington are always weird, and the Eagles under Nick Sirianni haven’t played well in Week One since 2021. COMMANDERS +5.5
Commanders under 7.5
Eagles over 10.5
Cardinals at Chargers
Did I just google who was the head coach of the Cardinals? Sure did. CHARGERS -8
Cardinals over 3.5
Chargers over 9.5
Sunday Night (8:20PM ET)
Cowboys at Giants
Do the Giants ever beat the Cowboys? COWBOYS -3
Cowboys over 9.5
Giants under 7.5
Monday Night (6:20PM ET)
Broncos at Chiefs
Andy Reid kept trying to find his running back in the draft with very limited success. I think Kenneth Walker is a home run for the Chiefs. CHIEFS -2.5
Broncos under 9.5
Chiefs under 10.5