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Thanksgiving NFL Picks

I’m thankful for NFL football on Thanksgiving. I’d be even more thankful for NFL football on Thanksgiving if I actually got to watch it. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Texans at Lions (12:30 ET)
The Texans needed a furious rally to hold off the Jacksonville Jaguars just four days ago, and that was in Houston. I feel like it would take a month to correct all the issues that permitted the Jaguars to score 37 points, so four days doesn’t seem like enough time. This is also Detroit’s season. At 4-6 and in last place in the NFC North, the Lions’ playoff hopes are already on life support. A loss on Turkey Day would essentially pull the plug on their 2012 season. On the other hand, the Texans have a lot to prove after being embarrassed in a close victory over the lowly Jaguars. Houston knows it isn’t getting much love despite its 9-1 record. They’ll be out to prove their worth in front of a national audience. RIP 2012 Lions. TEXANS If I were Charles Barkley; Texans -3.5

Redskins at Cowboys (4:15 ET)
Rob Ryan is a buffoon who will never coach an NFL team because, well, he’s a buffoon. Despite that fact, I like his approach to slowing down Robert Griffin III on Thursday: Hit him, and when you do; hit him hard. Griffin is electric, there’s no question he’s the most dynamic player in the NFL. He’s proven it’s nearly impossible to stop him. He is small, though. Absorbing some vicious licks would undoubtedly take a toll on Griffin. His worst three games this season came against the Falcons, Steelers, and Panthers. All three defenses relentlessly got after Griffin and punished him every chance they got. The Washington GriffinSkins only go as far as Griffin takes them. As for the Cowboys, they’re about to break out or completely fall apart. They flirted with falling apart four days ago, so my guess is they surge back on Turkey Day. COWBOYS If I were Charles Barkley; Cowboys -3

Patriots at Jets (8:20 ET)
New England looked like the best team in the NFL four days ago. Tom Brady and the offense scored 45, 37, and 59 points in their last three outings, respectively. I know the Jets rallied to force overtime against the Patriots in a 29-26 defeat in Week 7, but am I really supposed to believe Mark Sanchez, Shonn Greene, and -insert any crappy player’s name here- will keep pace with the Patriots offense? No way. The two biggest Thanksgiving tragedies of 2012: 1. Retail stores sending employees to work on Thanksgiving night to the delight of psycho Christmas shoppers who will undoubtedly act like three-year-olds after a piñata explodes. 2. The Jets are horrible, boring, and headed nowhere and STILL refuse to start Tim Tebow. PATRIOTS If I were Charles Barkley; Patriots -7

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