Due to the probable length of tonight’s game, I won’t be able to post content before November 5th rolls around. Since I promised to add something each day in November, I must improvise. Therefore, I’ll continually update my running diary throughout tonight’s game. UPDATED 11:57 PM! Hopefully, you’ll have an idea of what I’m referencing. If this doesn’t work out and turns into a disaster, I apologize in advance. I’ll issue everyone a full refund tomorrow. All times are Eastern Standard Time. Oh, I almost forgot. I came up with this idea after the first inning, so there are no comments before the second inning.
8:15 PM: Howard 3 for 23, it’s amazing the Phillies weren’t swept.
8:17 PM: Ibanez has struck out 9 times in the series already. Why not commit entirely and go for two players breaking the old record. If you can’t win the championship, that’s not a bad consolation prize.
8:25 PM: (2012 Movie Commercial) John Cusack making another attempt at an action, super action movie. Have we so quickly forgotten that his last attempt was “Con Air?” “Why couldn’t you just put the bunny down?”
8:28 PM: (Fans chanting “Who’s your daddy?”) My daddy’s name is Dan. Who’s your daddy?
8:30 PM: This could be our final night with the afro/mullet/perm on top of Pedro’s head. I might ask my brother to grow one so I have one to look at from time to time.
8:33 PM: (Hideki Matsui hit a 2 run shot) How do you say, “Oh crap,” in Japanese? Yankees 2-0.
8:36 PM: If Godzilla were real, Tim McCarver’s statement, “Godzilla is huge in Tokyo,” would confuse a lot of people. How many people did he kill?
8:45 PM: Chooch is craaaazy! Triples by catchers = awesome. Darren Daulton always looked like he was gonna need a beer and a cigarette at third to make it home.
8:47 PM: On the board. 2-1 Yankees.
8:51 PM: (Pictures of Pedro’s head on a baby in a diaper on back page) Is the New York Post a legitimate newspaper? Do people even buy newspapers?
9:00 PM: A-Rod comes to the plate with the bases loaded. If the Phillies are within three runs by the end of the 3rd, it would be a miracle.
9:04 PM: Huge, huge, huge, huge, x a million, strikeout of A-Rod. If Pedro doesn’t surrender a run here, the momentum would all go to the Phillies. (McCarver just said what I typed; I promise I typed it first.)
9:07 PM: Or Not. (Matsui 2 RBI single)
9:11 PM: Johnny Damon is pulled due to injury. This is big time. Jesus, Mary, and Judas were all just taken out of the Yankee lineup.
9:21 PM: Two straight walks to Werth and Ibanez. Pedro Feliz could get his own statue in Philly with a game-tying home run here. (By the way, how upset would you be if you were Feliz? He was lined up to be the hero of game 4 until Brad Lidge ruined it all for him. Lidge will not get “Feliz Navidad” greetings from Pedro Feliz this year. Yesss! I pulled off the corny, name/holiday reference. I’m ready for the big time.)
9:24 PM: Cancel the statue. Feliz grounded out to end the inning.
9:33 PM: Yankees go down one, two, three in the bottom half. I’m internally debating the best time to trigger the rally caps. The 5th inning might be too early, but we can’t wait until the 8th inning either. This is going to require some thought. I’ll get back to you with my ruling.
9:38 PM: Carlos “Chooch” Ruiz walks. If Rollins reaches base here (not on a fielder’s choice), the rally is on.
9:41 PM: Double Play. Rally is off! Quick, tell your friends. Rally has been cancelled. No mas! 12 outs until I move my fan counter from 97.5% Eagles/2.5% Phillies to 100% Eagles. By the way, 100% Eagles means I start including Eagles’ injuries in my dinner prayers. True story.
9:46 PM: Derek Jeter doubles. He is clutch. Jeter probably pulls the Chicken out of the stove and the steak off the grille at the absolute perfect time as well.
9:49 PM: Teixeira doubles Jeter home. Put in Cliff Lee. Just put him in. Do it, Charlie!
9:52 PM: Charlie Manuel to Chad Durbin: “Well uh, duh, umm, uh, Thanks Chad. You did real great. 1/3 of an inning, 2 hits, a run, and a walk is exactly what we wanted from you here. Now go sit next to Cliff Lee and hope he sneezes on you.”
9:56 PM: Double play, double play, double play, double play, double play. Come on double play!
9:57 PM: Nooooooooo! Mr. Matsui, I said “double play,” not, two run double. I need a translator. Does anyone speak Japanese?!?!
10:00 PM: Matsui’s game 6 stats: 3/3, HR, 6 RBI. Phillies’ game 6 stats, 2/14, 0 HR, 1 RBI, Friday vacation plans.
10:09 PM: Ryan Howard showed up! Life! The Phillies have life! I honestly thought, with the game getting out of hand, Howard would go up and bunt on his remaining at bats to avoid breaking the strikeout record. The home run was a pleasant surprise.
10:13 PM: Command to Star Fox. Come in Star Fox… Baseball bats work best when applied to baseballs, not left on shoulders.
10:14 PM: So long, Andy Pettitte. The Phillies have 4, maybe 7 outs before the “Sandman” enters the game (Mariano Rivera).
10:19 PM: Phillies need two more runs in the 7th inning. Everyone needs to use Chase Utley’s bats. The bats should also be resting in Cliff Lee’s lap until needed.
10:23 PM: Most comforting sight since the Berlin Wall fell: Chan Ho Park warming up in the bullpen. Why? Because Chan Ho Park “stands upon that pitching mound and says, ‘Nothing’s going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.’”
10:31 PM: FOX shows that Jeter has hit safely in 32 of 38 World Series games. I can’t even start the lawn-mower successfully 32 of 38 times. He needs to run for President.
10:32 PM: Ryan Howard just made an accurate throw to second base. This is huge. Howard never makes that throw. The Phillies are gonna win now. If they don’t, a Howard throw to second that doesn’t reach left field should make the Phillies all feel like winners regardless.
10:39 PM: Most obvious call ever. Joe Buck states: “I think you need to jump on Joba Chamberlain before Mariano Rivera enters the game.” Really, Joe? Really? You think? You know what? You’re right. You’re a genius. Thank you for making us all smarter. (I actually like Joe Buck)
10:42 PM: Chooch is amazing. He’s my favorite thing from Panama since the canal. Time for rally caps. Hurry!
10:43 PM: Dear Jimmy Rollins, Please don’t feel like you have to try to ground into a double play every time you come to bat with Carlos Ruiz on base. Just wanted you to know. Sincerely, Ryan
10:46 PM: Chase Utley enters the batter’s box with two men on. Nervous……………..
10:50 PM: Utley strikes out on three pitches without taking a full swing. I just shoved four packs of Halloween-sized skittles down my throat. I feel a little better.
10:53 PM: That’s the 36th time I’ve seen the AVATAR preview. Still not interested, not even remotely. I avoid Michelle Rodriguez movies like the plague.
10:55 PM: Come on, FOX! We’re down 7-3 with two at bats left in an elimination game. Why do you need to show Joe Carter’s home run? Why? Have you no mercy? I still remember looking at my dad with the, “Is it ok if I cry now?” look after witnessing that disaster. He’s not watching the game with me tonight, so I just asked myself the same question. I said no by the way. Not yet at least.
10:58 PM: (Chan Ho Park brushes back A-Rod) Do it, Chan Ho! Hit him! Send a message for game 7, or the 2010 season. I’m ok with either one.
11:01 PM: The Playstation 3 commercial where the guy responds like a lady makes me laugh every time, except tonight. Where are those Skittles?
11:07 PM: Spike Lee looks like he’s trying too hard with all that Yankees gear on. Donald Trump and Regis are a good three hours past their bedtimes. Yes, I’ve resorted to making fun of Yankees fans.
11:10 PM: I knew Scott Eyre should have started tonight’s game.
11:14 PM: (Ryan Howard struck out) Damaso Marte vs. Utley and Howard tonight: six pitches, two strikeouts.
11:17 PM: Phillies’ 2009 Grim Reaper enters the game. What are the odds of getting four runs off Rivera with only four outs left? I’d guess less than 4%.
11:23 PM: (Raul Ibanez doubles to center) Ok, Raul, Ok. We can build on this. Extend the inning, Pedro, just extend the inning…
11:25 PM: …Or foul out to the catcher. How bad do you have to perform before they allow you to bat with a wooden version of those ginormous orange wiffle ball bats? Wherever that line is, I think Pedro is flirting with it.
11:30 PM: (Pedro Feliz made an impressive play and a strong throw to retire Nick Swisher) Ok, so the man can field.
11:36 PM: Of course Derek Jeter singles. His relationships with teammates must suffer due to his frequent absence in the dugout.
11:38 PM: Potentially the final 2009 at bat for the Phillies. And. Here. We. Go.
11:43 PM: Bad news: Matt Stairs lined out for the first out of the 9th inning. Good news: Brian Westbrook will play Sunday night vs. the Cowboys.
11:45 PM: Please, please, please, please, please, Jimmy! No fielder’s choice or double play. Please!?!?
11:46 PM: Fly balls don’t work either. Out number two. Good news: Needy individuals in foreign countries will soon be receiving shipments of “Philadelphia Phillies 2009 World Series Champions” t-shirts.
11:50 PM: Victorino grounds out to end the series. Good news: the visitor’s clubhouse at the new Yankee Stadium won’t reek of beer and bubbly, only tears and sadness.
11:51 PM: Most disappointing thing about Phillies’ failure to repeat? That’s easy, no Charlie Manuel victory speeches. It feels like they cancelled Christmas.
11:53 PM: A-Rod is validated. Jeter and Rivera are elevated. Joe Girardi is vindicated.
11:55 PM: I know of only one copping mechanism. “There’s always next year.” I know that one doesn’t do the trick. It’s more like a slap in the face. My preferred remedy is, E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!
12:08 PM: Translator involved in the World Series MVP presentation. This is fantastic. One of my top three favorite moments from the 2009 World Series.