The Eagles were so bad and so dumb Monday night they don’t deserve coherent sentences that form paragraphs.

So let’s list all the awful from Chicago…

It was the Eagles worst offensive showing according to EPA in the last four years

In their first three drives out of the half this season, the Eagles have gone three-and-out eight times. That other time? They got one first down. Maybe stop sleep walking out of the half.

No more screens. Never again. The only one that worked all season was the one that shouldn’t have been called at the end of the 1st half. Did it work? Sure, but only because the defense assumed no sane person would run such a play in that scenario with no time outs.

That’s the second interception Jalen Hurts has thrown directly into a defender. What is he looking at? He got lucky the first time he threw it right at TJ Edwards, so it should have been another multiple turnover night for Hurts.

Saquon Barkley in the 1st half; 11 rushes for 73 yards. 2nd half; 4 rushes for 9 yards.

DeVonta Smith in the 1st half; 5 receptions for 61 yards on 6 targets. 2nd half; 1 reception for 4 yards on 2 targets.

Every team in the NFL gets the ball to their best players. The Eagles try to do it without their best players.

Offense was 0/5 on 3rd down in the 2nd half.

The defense leads the NFL in missed tackles.

A 38 year old, 3rd string, journeyman QB was 10/10 vs the blitz for 140 yards. He was hitting receivers with moon balls because the receivers were so open.

The Eagles can’t sack the quarterback. They can’t generate turnovers.

Vic Fangio had his but kicked by Ben Johnson… again… and this time without a run game.

Andrew Mukuba and Jihad Campbell are almost unplayable. Can’t tackle. Can’t cover. Always seem lost. Howie Roseman swung and missed on his top two picks in the 2025 draft. And the 2026 draft isn’t trending much better.

Can Hurts not throw on the run? I know he doesn’t have the biggest arm but man does he miss by a mile when he’s rolling outside the pocket.

The offensive line isn’t going to get better, is it?

I know the run didn’t work on 1st and 2nd down, but maybe don’t throw it on 3rd and goal with your cold backup quarterback, and definitely don’t throw it if your backup quarterback is Andy Dalton.

The Tush Push is not the only 4th down play in the playbook… right? Were the Eagles really THAT unaware that it was 4th and a long one? They had to go for it there. I know it’s the 2nd half, but call the timeout. Your defense stinks.

I’m sad.