Birdfeed: Vol. 15.14 – 12 Days of Chipmas

It’s Christmas time. Here are 12 things Chip Kelly gave Eagle fans Sunday night. Coal would’ve been an upgrade. (AP Photo/Michael Perez)

On the 12th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; bad receivers. The great Chip Kelly thought it wise to lose his top receiver in consecutive offseasons and head into 2015 with a washed-up veteran, an overpaid blocking receiver, two 2nd year players and a rookie. On a related note, the Eagles rank 2nd to last in the NFL in both drops and drop percentage.

On the 11th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; Ryan Matthews. Matthews has probably been the Eagles best running back this season, but that isn’t saying much. All the troubles that made Matthews forgettable in San Diego continue to plague him in Philadelphia. Matthews will once again miss at least three games for the 4th time in his 6 NFL seasons. Matthews also lost his 3rd fumble of the season Sunday night. Three fumbles on only 98 rushes ranks Matthews 2nd to last in the NFL in touches per fumble (minimum 90 carries). Matthews fumbles every 32.6 rushes. Only Lions rookie Ameer Abdullah has a worse ratio (31.25).

On the 10th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; another bad defense. Defensive issues continue in the Chip Kelly era. While it looked as if the defense finally turned a corner this season, it appears we’ve been cursed with more of the same from Kelly’s defense. For those keeping track at home, that’s little to no improvement in Kelly’s 3 seasons as head coach. In fact, the Eagles defense has ranked in the bottom five in total defense each season under Chip Kelly. Throughout Andy Reid’s entire tenure as head coach, the Eagles defense finished worse than 15th in total defense only twice and never lower than 20th.

On the 9th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; a dreadful record against playoff opponents. Good teams and good coaches win big games. Big games generally come against playoff caliber opponents. In Kelly’s three seasons in Philadelphia, his record against playoff teams is… well… less than encouraging. Including 2015, Kelly is 5-11 against playoff teams. Even his five wins are misleading. One of those victories came against Green Bay with some guy named Scott Tolzien playing quarterback. Another was a victory over the 2014 Panthers, who finished the season 7-8-1.

On the 8th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; Nelson Agholor. Kelly’s 2015 1st round pick posted zero catches for zero yards Sunday night. In 11 games this season, Agholor isn’t even averaging 2 receptions per game. His next game with more than 3 receptions will be his first. Kelly believed Agholor could replace Jeremy Maclin’s production. Kelly wasn’t 100% wrong as Agholor is only 66 receptions, 1,093 yards and 9 touchdowns off Maclin’s 2014 output, so I guess you could say Kelly was only 83% wrong.

On the 7th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; DeMarco Murray. Kelly’s big free agent prize finished Sunday’s game with 2 carries and 3 yards. Murray is now averaging 3.4 yards per carry this season. I find it infuriating when fans boo Murray. Why not boo the moron behind Murray’s struggles? Chip Kelly thought so highly of his “system” that he bought a bull and believed he could turn it into a racehorse.

On the 6th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; Marcus Smith. Speaking of bad 1st round picks, Smith definitely takes the cake. The only time Chip Kelly can sneak Smith onto the field is in blowouts or for the coin toss.

On the 5th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; Byron Maxwell. The Eagles handed Maxwell a contract worth $60 million. Against one of the NFL’s elite passing offenses Sunday night, here’s how I would recap Maxwell’s performance:
• 2 tackles, followed immediately by two injury timeouts.
• Pretended to be Darren Fells’ backpack.
• Did not finish game.

On the 4th day of Chipmas, Kelly gave to you; Jordan Matthews high-stepping down 27 points in the 4th quarter. Jordan Matthews had a nice game. It was his 4th “nice game” of the season. Your top wide receiver can’t have 4 nice games out of 14. It should also be noted that 3 of Matthews’ 4 “nice games” came in defeats. Regardless, you’re a bozo if you’re high-stepping while trailing by multiple scores in the 4th. Can’t fix stupid, I guess.

On the 3rd day of Chipmas, Kelly gave away; DeSean Jackson. Remember when Jackson was the NFL’s most explosive wide receiver? Remember when he had 1,300 yards, 9 TD, and 82 receptions in 2013? Remember how Chip Kelly sent him out the door for reasons unrelated to football? Remember how Kelly got nothing in return?

On the 2nd day of Chipmas, Kelly gave away; LeSean McCoy. Every week I will continue to remind you that Chip Kelly traded the franchise’s 27 year-old leading rusher for a linebacker that doesn’t linebacker. Kiko Alonso can’t tackle. He’s not even good in coverage. Kelly claimed McCoy’s departure was about money, but then he gave DeMarco Murray a similar contract.

On the 1st day of Chipmas, Kelly gave away; a 2nd round pick. Parting ways with Nick Foles was insignificant, but giving away a 2nd round pick is a pretty big deal. Would the Eagles be any worse with Foles under center? Maybe, but probably not. I keep hearing people praise Sam Bradford for having his best game Sunday night. Is that how low our QB expectations have fallen? Three turnovers is praise-worthy? Put it this way, if Chip Kelly called the Rams today and offered Bradford for Foles and a 4th rounder, would St. Louis say yes? Absolutely not. Kelly lost that trade, just as he’s lost everything else.

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