I understand this is an irrational take with no statistical support, but Big Noon is the worst and it’s poisoning Big Ten Football.

I don’t care that FOX and Joel Klatt keep telling us it’s the highest rated game each week. I hate it. Here’s why:

First, no one… and I mean no one… plans to have the best part of their day happen at noon. Sure, anyone under the age of nine may have their birthday party at that time, and that would certainly be the highlight of their day, but nine year olds aren’t driving the billion dollar college football machine. Adults do. When adults make dinner plans with friends, that dinner is at night. No one says, “let’s go out for a nice Saturday lunch.” Want to go to a movie or host a party? That’s at night, too. Any fun wedding is at night. I know what you’re thinking… Did you just prove the rationale of FOX executives to produce Big Noon? I sure did. However, they’re missing something.

There’s this thing that exists but doesn’t officially exist. It’s called a national conversation, where you can text anyone, anywhere at a certain moment of the Saturday night game and know some way, somehow the game is in their conscious. When Georgia stormed back against Alabama last week, I was watching on my phone next to a pool. I was texting a friend at a wedding. I was texting another friend at ANOTHER college football game. One friend turned over from a baseball game. I went back and counted, there were double digit text threads (12) with individuals paying attention to that game. When was the last time a Big Noon game had all your friends buzzing? I can’t think of one. Even Ohio State-Michigan doesn’t move the needle like a chaotic 2nd half on ESPN/ABC Saturday night. Which leads me to my next point…

Gus Johnson is not Kirk Fowler. FOX can claim they have the most watched game every week. The numbers say they’re not lying. However, FOX does not have the BIGGEST game every week, because if it’s not Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit on the call, it’s not that big of a game. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Gus Johnson was great for March Madness but he’s too much for college football. Too much. I didn’t need to hear him say “Maserati Marv” nine times in the first quarter last year against Penn State. The game is always the star. Johnson tries to be and it’s distracting and quite frankly, annoying.

I know dollars rule all, and I get why the Big Ten took the biggest TV deal they could find. Unfortunately, the NHL also made this mistake about 20 years ago. They left ESPN for NBC and hockey fell off a cliff in the national conscience. I hate ESPN’s programming. I really do. But when it comes to actual live contests, no one does it better. Go ahead and think about it; when you want to watch a live college football game on Saturday, what is the very first channel you check? It’s ESPN. Always. NBC does a fine job with their football productions, but when FOX is hijacking the best Big Ten matchup every week, that Saturday night prime time game will never match the rizz (yeh, I’m hip) of the ESPN Saturday night contest, because ESPN can literally pick from almost any college football game outside of the Big Ten. Every Saturday, little by little, for the next five to seven years the Big Ten will slowly drain from the national conscience because their biggest and brightest matchups will be featured while little Timmy’s birthday party is happening in the backyard.

The bottom line is this: FOX will continue to flash rating numbers in order to drive advertising dollars all while the SEC surges past the Big Ten in popularity and relevance. Bright lights, ESPN, and social media melting down in the midst of big game chaos matters to teenagers deciding where to play college football. No kid… not one single one… grows up thinking, My dream is to play on Big Noon one day. No, they want to play on ESPN, under the lights, with Fowler and Herbstreit on the call and the whole nation knowing the biggest game of the week is happening right now, and at a moments notice they may need to find a screen.

*****

Thursday Night Pick; Falcons -2.5