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Week 6 NFL Picks

Cary Williams and the Eagles’ uniforms have something in common; both suck. Thankfully, one will change Sunday night. (Photo by Evan Habeeb/Getty Images)

Season:       49 – 27 – 0
Last Week:  13 – 2 – 0

Thursday Recap

Colts 33 at Texans 28
Wins and losses are all that matter. However, I feel better about the Texans moving forward after Thursday’s contest. I thought the early onside kick was the key to the game. It took an entire half for the Texan defense to shake off the early haymakers landed by the Colts. Once Houston finally settled into its game plan, they already trailed by three scores. Give Bill O’Brien credit, though, for not pinning a comeback on Ryan Fitzpatrick’s arm. That would have been disastrous. Instead, O’Brien stuck with the ground game and trusted his defense to settle in. If it weren’t for a missed field goal and two sloppy turnovers on the Texans’ final three possessions, it’s likely they win the game despite an early 24-0 hole. Other notes:
-JJ Watt is incredible.
-While Demarco Murray has been great this season, Arian Foster has been reeeeal good, too. He’s coming for his best NFL running back crown, Demarco. Look out.
-Oh yeah, well done DeAndre Hopkins…

Early Games (1:00PM ET)

Jaguars at Titans
Jacksonville has Blake Bortles to look forward to, but what do Titans fans use for hope? TITANS If I were Charles Barkley; Titans -4

Ravens at Buccaneers
Implementing Josh McCown as his starter over Mike Glennon probably cost Lovie Smith his season. The NFC South isn’t exactly running away from the Bucs, but even in a weak division 2014 looks like a lost cause. Though, expect Tampa Bay to be much better over the remainder of the season. RAVENS If I were Charles Barkley; Ravens -3.5

Broncos at Jets
Rex Ryan led the Jets to back-to-back AFC Championship appearances in 2009 and 2010. Since then, Ryan’s Jets have finished 8-8, 6-10, and 8-8. Given New York’s ugly 1-4 start, it smells like another losing season for Ryan. Does he survive another lousy season? I’m guessing no. BRONCOS If I were Charles Barkley; Broncos -10

Lions at Vikings
Field goal kickers swing fortunes. 3-2 is not 4-1. It’ll be interesting to see how the Lions respond after such a disheartening loss. LIONS If I were Charles Barkley; Lions +2.5

Patriots at Bills
Did New England flip the switch or was Sunday’s beat down of the Bengals an emotional response to the naysayers? Buffalo is tough at home, especially against the division. I’m buying the Patriots turned the corner last week but I don’t feel great about it PATRIOTS If I were Charles Barkley; Patriots -2.5

Panthers at Bengals
Not a great situation for the Panthers. The Bengals are essentially Carolina’s doppelganger. Only, Cincinnati’s defense isn’t missing its top pass rusher. Plus, the Bengals were humiliated a week ago. BENGALS If I were Charles Barkley; Bengals -7

Steelers at Browns
A loss in the final seconds to the hapless Buccaneers and then squeaking past the winless Jaguars? Oh man. A loss to the Browns would send Steeler nation into a full-fledged panic. I hope this happens. BROWNS If I were Charles Barkley; Browns -0.5

Packers at Dolphins
I don’t expect things to go as smoothly for Aaron Rodgers and the Packers as they have the past two weeks. However, I’m not nearly confident enough to pick the Dolphins. PACKERS If I were Charles Barkley; Packers -3

Afternoon Games (4:05PM ET)

Chargers at Raiders
Tony Sparano buried a football in front of his football team this week to signify the first five weeks of the season are gone and forgotten. ARE YOU LISTENING? Tony Sparano buried a football! This changes everything! No, you’re right. It doesn’t change a thing. The Raiders still stink. CHARGERS If I were Charles Barkley; Chargers -7.5

Bears at Falcons
The Bears are the most perplexing team in the NFL. They look like Super Bowl contenders one quarter and then NFC bottom feeders the next two. I have absolutely no idea what to think, so I’m taking the Falcons because Matt Ryan and Julio Jones are tough to outscore at home. FALCONS If I were Charles Barkley; Falcons -3

Cowboys at Seahawks
A competitive outing from the Cowboys will convince me they’re legit. Full disclosure: I’m not expecting a competitive outing. The Seahawks are a Bentley. The rest of the NFC is made up of Hondas and Nissans. SEAHAWKS If I were Charles Barkley; Seahawks -8.5

Redskins at Cardinals
I have no idea why but I think the Redskins win in Arizona. No, I am not drinking. REDSKINS If I were Charles Barkley; Redskins +3.5

Sunday Night (8:30PM ET)

Giants at Eagles
Regardless of Sunday night’s outcome, I feel like Eagle fans are already winners. Here’s why: 1. Jason Pierre Paul can’t do basic math. 2. This video:

Which prompted this outrageously stupid response. 3. The Eagles are finally wearing black-on-black. 4. The Eagles aren’t wearing white-on-white. White-on-white is the absolute worst uniform combination in the history of uniforms and combinations. The Eagles should be 0-5 simply for wearing such lifeless uniforms. Anyway, I’m ready. Let’s do this, Eagles. EAGLES If I were Charles Barkley; Eagles -3

Monday Night (8:30PM ET)

49ers at Rams
The 49ers keep grinding out ugly wins. I’m not expecting Colin Kaepernick and the offense to struggle forever, so San Francisco is playing with house money right now. They’ll only get better as the season moves on and their defense gets healthy. Even though the Rams often give the 49ers fits, and despite Austin Davis putting up juicy numbers the last two weeks, I’m staying away from St. Louis. The Cowboys and Eagles are hardly on the level of San Francisco’s defense. Things could get ugly for the 2nd year quarterback from Southern Mississippi. 49ERS If I were Charles Barkley; 49ers -3.5


If I were Charles Barkley…
Season:        41 – 34 – 1
Last Week:   12 – 3 – 0

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