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ProFootballTalk Comments of the Week Vol. 1.2

This week’s edition includes Donovan McNabb, Todd Haley (again), Eli Manning, and more. Without further ado, your weekly reminder that NFL football fans can be the funniest, most passionate, and downright dumbest people on the World Wide Web.

For those of you that missed the PFT Comments of the Week debut, or if you want to know what the heck this weekly post is all about, you can get the lowdown here.

[Editor’s Note: Each heading links to the actual post at ProFootballTalk. Every comment posted is in its exact form; so don’t blame me for poor vocabulary or grammar issues. Comments will also be attributed to their rightful owner, because at 4thanddone.com, we don’t do plagiarism.]

Texans work out Vernon Gohlston
Synopsis: Gohlston was the 6th overall pick in the 2008 draft by the New York Jets. To put it nicely, he was worthless. After being released by the Jets earlier this year, Gohlston joined the Bears only to be cut during training camp. He’s still looking for a job.
Comment from nyjetsholdupsbtrophyin2012: “Why?”
Analysis: My thoughts exactly. I understand NFL teams never truly give up on amazing athletes like Gholston, but two of the best defensive coaches in the NFL (Rex Ryan and Lovie Smith) essentially came to the same conclusion: Vernon Gholston can’t play. Wade Philips, the Texans’ defensive coordinator is a brilliant defensive mind in his own right, so maybe he believes he’ll have the magic touch. (Gholston, as of today, has not been signed by the Texans.)

Alex Smith suffered a concussion on Sunday
Synopsis: Alex Smith suffered a concussion on Sunday. We clear?
Comment from tfbuckfutter: How can you tell if Alex Smith has a concussion? His throws are on target?”
Analysis: 1. That’s pretty funny. 2. When men (presumably) create anonymous Internet IDs, they revert back to 8th grade. It’s true.

What are the Phillies doing?
Synopsis: Ok, so this isn’t from ProFootballTalk, and it has nothing to do with football. But seriously, what are the Phillies doing? A week ago, the Phillies were the most feared team in baseball, cruising their way to 105+ wins. Now, they’ve given nearly the entire team a vacation and have lost six of seven as a result. Obviously, the remaining games mean nothing to the Phillies. However, momentum can be lost in the worthless games leading up to the postseason. Even Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee lost in back-to-back outings (sort of, there was a make-up game as part of a double-header in between). Unfortunately, both probably lost their respective shot at the Cy Young award, too. It’s hard to blame either pitcher for a subpar outing (perhaps a lack of focus?) when half of the starting lineup is munching sunflower seeds and kicking it at the top of the dugout. If I’m Charlie Manuel, I’m inserting my entire starting lineup into every one of Philadelphia’s final seven games. Only Halladay and Lee are excluded so they’re available for games 1 and 2 of the Wildcard round. It doesn’t matter who is on the field. Losing games is bad for team mojo. You can’t tell me the Phillies are just as good as they were two weeks ago. You can’t because they haven’t played. Time off is nice for rest, but it also brings a lack of focus. Manuel better get his team back in gear. This isn’t football, after all. Injuries shouldn’t dictate how Manuel ends the season. His focus should be on keeping his high-priced locomotive chugging at full speed heading into October. (Not two hours after I wrote this, Hunter Pence suffered a knee injury. Uhh, my bad?)
Comment from 4thanddone: “Don’t screw up 5 1/2 months of domination to rest the entire lineup.”
Analysis: Brilliant.

Antrel Rolle thinks he can take DeSean Jackson one-on-one
Synopsis: Pretty self-explanatory. Also in this post: Rolle declared he wants Vick to play so the Eagles have no excuses when the Giants “put it to ‘em.”
Comment from eaglesw00t: “If Desean Jackson smokes you, are you going to fake an injury?”
Analysis: Touché.

Todd Haley believes, despite the Chiefs’ struggles, the season won’t be canceled
Synopsis: For those that don’t pay attention to bad football games or horrendous football teams, the Chiefs are BRUTAL. Head coach Todd Haley’s response to KC’s struggles: “The season will not be canceled, as far as I know.” Oh. Ok. Good to know. Thanks, Todd.
Comment from mrcosio: Apparently Todd Haley just found out the lockout was lifted months ago. That would explain a lot of things.”
Analysis: Co-sign. No other coach in the NFL is in over his head as much as Haley. It’ll be a miracle if he survives the season.

Eli Manning is either lying or he’s dumber than he looks
Synopsis: When asked about being booed early in Monday’s game after the offense struggled, Eli Manning first claimed he didn’t hear it. Then, he said he thought they were booing someone else. (Like, you know, Santa Clause.)
Comment from captainwisdom8888: “Eli…I can assure they are.” (Booing him.)
Analysis: If 80,000 people in the stadium and another million plus at home know exactly who is being booed, you do too, Eli. Seriously, what’s the deal with professional athletes, or in this instance, Eli Manning? Where’s the harm in admitting you knew you were getting booed? (And deservedly so, I may add.) While it’s hardly a surprise to hear Manning plead ignorance (after all, this is the guy who included himself in the same conversation as Tom Brady and Peyton Manning), a little humility would be nice. Fans may even like you more. And, who knows, maybe they would wait to boo until the 2nd or 3rd quarter next time.

San Diego Chargers excited after loss
Synopsis: The Chargers played relatively well against the Patriots last Sunday but were done in by too many costly turnovers. Despite the loss, San Diego liked what they saw and think they’re a team with loads of potential.
Comment from johnjosephyossarian: That’s Bill wiping his snot on him.”
Analysis: Seriously, take a look. He may be right.
Comment from rkel10: “See kids, this is what losing will do to you.”
Analysis: Very true. The Chargers need a significant achievement this year or we may find them popping champagne after sweeping the Broncos and Chiefs.

Donovan McNabb says 0-2 is no time to panic
Synopsis: I think you got this one.
Comment from edenprairieballer: “This is a huge relief. After watching my Vikings give away two games I was panicking but not anymore now that McNabb has reassured me that it’s too early to panic.”
Analysis: Uh, oh.
Comment from nattyboh: When you’re 0-2 there is no need to panic…except when your QB is Donovan McNabb.”
Analysis: This isn’t good.
Comment from fordman84: Did McNabb recommend the young WRs grow hands out of their ankles so they would have a chance to catch his passes?”
Analysis: Yep. It’s official. Viking fans hate Donovan F. McNabb.

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