Allow me to explain why with a few examples from the 2010 NBA and NHL Playoffs.

Obviously (as noted in my Alexander the Goat article a few weeks back), I believed the Washington Capitals deserved to be serenaded with boos. I would have even tolerated litter on the ice. Yes, throwing trash onto the ice is childish, illegal, and dangerous, but all three adjectives describe how most professional athletes behave in society anyway, so have at it. (Just kidding…about tolerating things being thrown onto the ice, not how athletes behave.) The Capitals deserved their fans’ disgust. Instead, they received a round of applause. Shame on you, Capital fans.

Yes, losing happens; it’s a part of sports. However, losing isn’t what requires booing, it’s the frequency and severity of losing that makes booing necessary. The Capitals have shriveled up and died in the playoffs for three straight years. When that happens, you boo…loudly, and you don’t stop until you’ve chased them off the ice. I even booed the Capitals and Alexander Ovechkin from my couch…and I’m a Flyers fan. The same formula should be applied to the New Jersey Devils. Another example of a regular season bully that goes M.I.A. come playoff time.

In the NBA playoffs, the Atlanta Hawks come to mind. No one expected the Hawks to beat the Orlando Magic in round two. However, Atlanta fans (and all basketball fans) were appalled at the lack of effort and intensity demonstrated by the Hawks. After being blown out by more than 40 points in the series opener, Atlanta responded by getting trounced in their next three outings and was swept from the playoffs. Sweeps happen. Getting beaten by a better team happens. Even getting blown out by a superior opponent is understandable, but to exert no effort and zero intensity is unacceptable, especially in the playoffs. The Hawks don’t really have a fan base, but the few fans they do have should still be booing.

As for the Cavaliers being booed by their own fans in what could have been LeBron’s final home game? I loved it. LeBron has held those fans hostage for the last two years. They’re scared to death about whether he’ll leave or stay. On Tuesday night, LeBron and the Cavaliers were so putrid that Cleveland fans finally stood up and said, ENOUGH! Even great players need to be told they stink from time to time. By booing LeBron, Cleveland may have pushed him away for good. If that’s the case, good for them. Any player that can’t take some boos, especially after a lousy game like that, doesn’t deserve the blind devotion that Cleveland has given to LeBron. Given is the key word. LeBron is a fantastic player, but he hasn’t earned anything yet. He has one NBA Finals appearance, no wins and zero championships. At this point, he owes Cleveland more than they owe him. Booing his lackadaisical effort on Tuesday night was the right call-we obviously want you to stay, but this is unacceptable. Cleveland’s season isn’t over, but sometimes a single game deserves a chorus of boos. Cleveland fans hit all the right notes on Tuesday night.

Let’s break it down in real world terms. If I have a great year at work, everyone loves me, and then I go on a two week stretch where I’m as worthless as Sammy Sosa without ‘roids, you better believe someone is going to say something. Why are fans supposed to ignore a sloppy two week stretch (at the most important time of the year nonetheless)? Because the team gave us an enjoyable regular season? No thank you. The greatest thing about “sports” is its simplicity. Only one thing matters; championships. Fans aren’t rooting for a rosy regular season. We want titles. Obviously, the season(s) building up to that title are appreciated and celebrated, but once a team gets stagnant in that pursuit (Capitals, Atlanta Hawks), fans get fed up.

The Philadelphia Eagles epitomize stagnant. Philly fans loved the early 2000’s as Donovan McNabb and the birds rose to prominence. We didn’t boo when the Giants beat us in the Divisional Round or when St. Louis squeaked out a win in the Conference Championship. Losing is an integral part of winning. However, once the Eagles dropped three consecutive NFC Championships (two to lesser opponents), the natives got restless. A half-decade later, we’re still restless. The Eagles have been running in place since the Patriots won Super Bowl XXXIX.

To further prove that losing doesn’t always deserve booing, let’s look at the Philadelphia Flyers and Oklahoma City Thunder. The Flyers were down 0-3 in a seven game series to the Boston Bruins. They’ve since battled back to tie the series at three. Let’s pretend the Flyers were swept by the Bruins in four games, the final loss coming at the Wachovia Center. I’m almost certain the Philadelphia crowd would have applauded the Flyers. They were overmatched, shorthanded, and battling injuries that plagued them all year. A sweep would have been disheartening, but no one could question the Flyers effort.

The same is true for the Thunder. In their first playoff appearance, the young Thunder went head to head to with the powerful Lakers and extended the series to six games. The Thunder played hard and attacked the favored Lakers, but still fell in defeat. Losing in the 2010 playoffs was an early step in building a successful team that should compete for the NBA title for years to come. Did the players want to lose? Of course not. Kevin Durant shrugged off talk of moral victories immediately after the series ended. When asked how he felt, he responded, “Like I just lost a playoff series.” I’m sure Durant understands getting postseason experience (even losing) is part of the process, but no player with aspirations for greatness would accept that as an excuse for defeat. The Thunder faithful clearly understood the situation. After game six the Thunder were treated to a rousing and well-deserved ovation from their crowd. The fans appreciated the team’s development over the past year and thanked them for their efforts and success. Now, if OKC is still getting bumped in the first round two years from now, you better believe those fans will start booing, and so they should.

Too conclude, I don’t have a problem with fans not booing. To boo or not to boo is a choice that every fan can make. However, if a multi-millionaire athlete isn’t giving his best effort in the playoffs; you better believe I’m going to let him hear about it. After all, I get scolded at work if I misread a zip code.

After a month of hearing and reading about trade suitors, it was inevitable that Donovan McNabb was going to be traded. Regardless of whether or not you expect it to happen, it’s a weird feeling when a franchise player-someone you’ve watched week in and week out for the past decade-is officially shipped out of town.

I’m a sports nut. Maybe I care a little too much about sports, but last night was like putting your dog down at the vet. After my wife learned of the trade, she looked at me and sincerely said, “Are you ok?” When your wife asks if you’re ok after a sports trade, you’re either too involved or it was a really big trade. This was a really big trade. Here are my thoughts.

First of all, why the Washington Redskins? When you dump an underachieving girlfriend you DUMP her. No more movies, no more hanging out, no more future. You part ways and that’s that. Why on earth would you extend her an exclusive pass to spend two Holidays with you and your family every year? You wouldn’t…unless you’re Andy Reid.

Reid dumped Donovan McNabb on Sunday night and then essentially invited him to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Eagle family. Now Donovan, we’re trading you but we really like you, so we want you to visit us twice a year. How’s that sound?

That sounds great to the dumped girlfriend, of course. You just extended her the opportunity (and motivation nonetheless) to get in shape, turn into a supermodel, maximize her potential and show up twice a year to shove it your face. Not only are you embarrassed, but her presence and drop-dead looks humiliate you in front of your entire family. Your uncle laughing and asking, “You dumped Her?!?!” is the icing on the cake.

Obviously, McNabb’s resurgence isn’t guaranteed, but it is likely (at least in my opinion). Athletes (as McNabb has demonstrated) aren’t the most secure individuals on the planet. Their feelings get hurt by silly things and they often perform their best when motivated by revenge. Regardless of how amicable the trade process was, McNabb will see the Eagles twice a year with an overwhelming desire to prove his worth and torch his former employer. As anyone in Wisconsin can tell you, there are rules to follow when moving a franchise quarterback. Rule #1: Never provide him an opportunity to embarrass you twice a year.

Well played, Andy Reid. Well played.

Moving Donovan McNabb makes sense. I’ve already explained my position as a McNabb apologist. I thought he gave the Eagles the best chance to win in 2010. I know he’s not Brady, Brees, or Manning, but he’s still a top 10 quarterback in the NFL.

With that said, I’m not outraged over moving McNabb (except the division rival thing). It was clear the relationship between him and the team was strained, and a change for both sides was necessary. Many, including the front office, believed he took the Eagles as far as he was going to take them. Thus, a trade was necessary to implement Kevin Kolb. (By the way, Reid is mostly to blame for never winning a title. When did McNabb have a running attack AND a solid defense? Brees, Manning (Eli and Peyton), and Roethlisberger all won with both.)

If the Eagles are indeed rebuilding their roster, (which it looks like they are), I support moving McNabb. Having a young team grow together is the best formula for building a champion and possibly a small dynasty. I was thrilled when they moved the overrated Sheldon Brown and released veterans like Darren Howard. If rebuilding is the plan, McNabb had to be moved. Kolb needs time and reps to grow with the Eagles’ young playmakers. Standing behind McNabb would only delay that process. For the Eagles’ future, trading McNabb was the right move.

The trade may actually benefit Donovan McNabb. For the first time in a very long time, McNabb will finally have a reliable running game. Moving into an offense run by Mike Shanahan guarantees this. McNabb will no longer have to throw on 3^rd and inches, attempt 35+ passes week in and week out, and watch as defensive lineman pin their ears back and attack. A balanced offense will provide McNabb a new opportunity to prove he can still play at a high level.

Yes, McNabb had offensive weapons in Philadelphia, but he rarely (if ever) was protected by a solid and consistent rushing attack. You see, a running game is equivalent to a salad to Andy Reid. There’s no purpose to it. It’s useless, unsatisfying, and not worth his time. Shanahan is the master of a ground game. He made 1,000 yard rushers out of no-names in Denver. Look for Washington to be in the top 10 in rushing next year and expect McNabb to thrive because of it.

Despite a rough stretch over the past two years, the Washington Redskins have some nice talent on offense too. Add that talent with Mike Shanahan’s offensive genius, and the Redskins could be a force in the NFC. They have talented tight ends in Chris Cooley and Fred Davis, young receivers in Devin Thomas and Malcolm Kelly, and a proven running back that has already thrived under Shanahan’s system in Clinton Portis. McNabb is moving to a situation where he can win right away.

Furthermore, he FINALLY has big, physical receivers that can go after his errant throws. Only once in his career has McNabb been matched with a receiver from this prototype. His name was Terrell Owens. I’m pretty sure that turned out well (at least on the field). Devin Thomas is 6’2, 215. Malcolm Kelly is 6’4, 225. In other words, both could eat DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin. (Not saying they’re better, just that they could literally eat them.)

This could be a significant advantage for McNabb. In Reid’s west coast offense, McNabb needed to be precise with his passes. Accuracy isn’t exactly his strength. With Thomas and Kelly (if Shanahan can get him to perform), McNabb will be able to play more on his instincts and give his bigger receivers opportunities to go up and get the ball. The throws won’t need to be perfect because both should have an advantage over smaller defensive backs.

The trade won’t turn McNabb into Peyton Manning, but it should improve his numbers and relieve some of the pressure of carrying an entire offense as he did in Philadelphia.

A history lesson. There’s a classic saying; history often repeats itself. A few months back I pointed out how similar McNabb’s career to date has been to John Elway’s (access here). When Elway finally won two Super Bowls in his twilight years, it was a young coach that led him there via a ferocious running game. What was that coaches name? Oh yes, that’s right. It was Mike Shanahan. I’m just saying.

Simply put, they forgot to read between the lines.

The recent efforts to move McNabb are a clear indictment of Andy Reid’s status with the Philadelphia Eagles. In other words, Big Red’s bum is getting toasty as his coaching seat heats up.

Since the disaster season of 2005 (TO drama, McNabb injury, Mike McMahon starting), Philadelphia Eagle fans have splintered into three categories. Group one blames Donovan McNabb and wants him gone (60%). Group two blames Reid and wants him out (35%). Group three is the overwhelming minority who believe the Reid McNabb combo will break through and bring home a title soon enough (5%). Yes, I’m one, if not the leader of the group three morons.

(You see, I’m a McNabb apologist. I’m quite good at it too. If you told me McNabb was behind the financial collapse that led to this country’s recession, I could twist it so McNabb would be either a hero or a martyr. It’s a disease. I don’t know how I contracted it. I think it’s because so many people have hated him and underappreciated him for so long. Perhaps I just feel bad for him. I don’t know. I can’t really explain why I love a career whiner and star player that plays awfully small in big games. I really can’t.)

Anyway, Reid’s rosy dictatorship over the Eagles looks to be falling out of favor. My sources won’t disclose who’s putting the pressure on Reid. (FYI: I have no sources. It just makes this sound more legit.) However, the escalated efforts to move McNabb prove Reid’s future is on the line. Here’s why. If Reid held onto McNabb for the 2010 season and failed to reach the Super Bowl, he could point the finger at McNabb and beg for one more chance with Kevin Kolb. He would likely get that chance too.

However, with his own future in limbo this year, Reid needed to act. He knows where McNabb has taken the Eagles over the past decade (or not taken them depending on your view). Similar results won’t save Reid’s tail. While he may have preferred another year before switching to plan B, the change in circumstances required drastic measures. Enter Kevin Kolb.

With McNabb gone, Reid will put all his eggs in an unproven quarterback’s basket. We’ve seen flashes of how talented Kolb is, but performing over the course of an entire season is different than showing off for a handful of quarters each year. If Kolb and the Eagles sour in 2010, Reid has nowhere to place blame. He drafted Kolb. He moved McNabb to promote Kolb. His players, his way, still no results. Reid would definitely need some magic to fight off the pitchforks and torches lining up to run him out of town.

Furthermore, if Reid really is desperate, moving McNabb may not be his best option this season. Does it make a great deal of sense to move a mobile franchise quarterback for an unproven one with cement shoes? If your offensive line is reliable, then maybe. The Eagles’ offensive line is anything but reliable. Yes, the tackles are set with Jason Peters and Winston Justice. Other than that, the line’s up in the air. Jamaal Jackson will be fighting back from an ACL injury. (The Dallas massacres proved what a disaster the line is without a solid center.) The Eagles still don’t know what they have in Stacy Andrews. Todd Herremans can’t play forever and the Max Jean-Gilles/Nick Cole tandem is decent but they’re not mountain movers like Shawn Andrews once was. Do you want a sitting duck behind that line in 2010, or an active playmaker that can buy time and extend plays for your young playmakers? Go ahead, take your time and think about it. I’ll be here to congratulate you when you come to the obvious conclusion.

I know what you’re thinking; why does it make sense for the Eagles to pressure Reid now, especially after signing him to an extension last season? Two words; Bill Cowher. Granted, this is all baseless speculation, but it’s only a matter of time before Cowher steps back into a coaching role. The only reason he didn’t return for the 2010 season is because the right opportunity didn’t open up. He wants to step in and win, not rebuild. The 2011 Eagles would offer that opportunity. If not Cowher, Jon Gruden would be another option.

I’m not a fan of either. Cowher is a 150 pound slimmer version of Andy Reid. Gruden is an average coach who won a Super Bowl with Tony Dungy’s defense and hasn’t accomplished much since. The Philadelphia front office would certainly entertain either as potential coaching replacements. They also know that both may not be available after next season.

Thus, the time to turn up the heat on Reid is now. Reid responded by reneging on earlier promises to keep McNabb, and is now actively looking to move him. It’s his rear-end on the line now. He’d rather it rest with Kevin Kolb than the greatest quarterback in Eagles’ history. Best of luck, Big Red.

(Real quick. Here’s my explanation for the recent lack of content… Apparently being unemployed creates a bizarre paradox. While I have a significant amount of time, my brain struggles to focus on anything other than finding a job. Thus, I have been unable to access the creative/writing side of my brain for the past ten days. Therefore, I forced myself to stay awake into the early morning hours to see if creative thought would ensue from fatigue. Mission accomplished. Now onto my favorite athletes…)

As you will soon learn, Philadelphia athletes were excluded from this list because they’re obviously (for better or worse) my favorite athletes. Very few of them meet the criteria anyway (at least right now). Therefore, with the exception of Willie Green, they’ve been left out. Just Kidding … Wait, that’s confusing. Just kidding about Willie Green being included. Not kidding – Philly athletes were left out.

Baseball
Derek Jeter fulfills all the necessary requirements. However, I can’t pick a Yankee, even if he is, “The Captain.” Therefore, Albert Pujols is currently my player of choice. Like Jeter, Pujols rates extremely high in all categories on my checklist. Obviously, Jeter has more championships, but Pujols just turned 30, so there’s plenty of time for him to claim a couple more. Some may argue his “IT” level isn’t up to par with other baseball superstars. I think Brad Lidge would vehemently disagree.

Here’s what I love about Pujols: He can hit for power AND average. I get frustrated that Ryan Howard has only managed to do this once (his MVP season of 2006). I know Howard’s power numbers are ridiculous, but I can’t excuse his averages over the past three seasons (ok, his .279 in ’09 is acceptable). Pujols’ power numbers rival Howard’s and he hits at an average nearly 50-100 points higher. All while batting in a lineup significantly less potent than the Phillies’ stable of mashers. Again, I understand Howard’s power numbers are fantastic, but name two other players in the Cardinals’ batting order. You can’t, and Pujols still rakes in the RBI.

It gets better… Pujols doesn’t strike out. It would take over three full seasons for Pujols to strike out as many times as Howard does in one, yes one, season. Need further statistical evidence of his greatness? Pujols ranked in the top five in on base percentage (OBP) every year from 2003-2009 except one (8th in 2004), and was in the top five every year during that span in slugging percentage (SLG) and OPS (OBP and SLG combined). He’s an offensive machine that often gets overlooked for postseason awards because he’s unbelievably consistent. To top it all off, Pujols is an amazing talent at first base who baseball junkies say loses out on gold gloves because he lunges for, and sometimes boots balls that other first basement can’t make a play on. Do I wish he could steal 50 bases? Sure. Other than that, there’s not much else to ask for.

Football
What makes the NFL great is that a single player can’t carry a team to a championship. A quarterback can’t run an offense if he’s under heavy pressure. Wide Receivers can be double covered. Eight men in the box will slow down a stellar running back (LaDanian Tomlinson’s playoff career). An offense can easily avoid a defensive superstar if the unit surrounding him is average (Darrelle Revis vs. Colts in AFC Championship). In football, it’s hard for a single player to even influence every game unless it’s the quarterback. With that said, Tom Brady is my favorite NFL player that satisfies all five requirements. I don’t always root for him or his team, but I love everything about how he approaches the game.

His championships speak for themselves as do his multiple Super Bowl MVP awards. Brady’s clutch. If I had to select any quarterback for a 4th quarter drive to tie or win a game, I’m picking Brady. No question about it. You may argue for Ben Roethlisberger but I can’t put the game in his hands over Brady. (In fact, I wouldn’t put anything near Roethlisberger’s hands. He’s apparently too touchy-feely.) Peyton Manning was elevated to “clutch driver” status for two weeks following his dismantling of the Jets. Unfortunately, his horrendous 4th quarter in last month’s Super Bowl got him demoted. Now he’s beating Roethlisberger away with a pylon down on tier two. I digress.

Despite his ability to rise to the occasion, it’s Brady’s demeanor and style that I enjoy most. Only he and Manning will get into a receivers face over a dropped pass or blown route. I love this. Accountability among teammates is the most important foundation for championships. Brady demands perfection of himself and his teammates.

(*It was hard for me to go with Brady here. Brady went soft in 2009 – letting Moss pout all over the field while Welker killed himself week in and week out. He’s also never been the same since his knee injury. I was prepared to switch my allegiance to Manning but again, he Bill Bucknered the Super Bowl.)

Hockey
Alex Ovechkin is everything I hoped Eric Lindros would become. What Lindros often lacked (heart, grit); Ovechkin brings on a nightly basis. He also leads the NHL in points and goals. Ovechkin is an offensive force. Even better, he ranks first in plus/minus. Not only is he producing during his time on the ice, but he’s keeping his opponents off the board as well. When you’re getting that kind of production from one of the league’s premier players on both ends of the ice, you must be thrilled as a coach.

Qualification number one (too fly to try) doesn’t really apply to hockey players. When nine other skaters are flying around you at warp speed, it’s hard to be lazy without getting benched. However, anyone who’s watched Ovechkin knows his energy level and intensity is unmatched. He hits, defends, fights, and does whatever else is required to win. From everything I’ve read, his teammates love him too, and opposing fans despise him (always means you’re doing well).

Two concerns with Ovechkin. First, he’s young now, only 24, but will his body hold up for an extended career with his reckless style of play? I sure hope so. Everything I love about Alexander the Great is what I despise about Sidney Crosby. Cindy is always whining about something or antagonizing an opponent before scurrying back to his bench. Maybe my perception of Crosby is because I’m a Flyers fan. Maybe not. Either way, Sid the Kid is a fantastic hockey player. He’s also a gigantic pansy.

My second concern is Ovechkin’s response to the pressure of matching the successes of Crosby. Crosby now has a Stanley Cup and an Olympic Gold Medal. Crosby defeated Ovechkin in both tournaments en route to his titles. Will their rivalry push them both to greatness a la Bird and Magic, or will Crosby’s early success do irreparable damage to Ovechkin’s confidence a la the Jordan – Drexler battles in the early ‘90s? If Ovechkin and the Capitals fail to advance further than the Penguins or worse, lose to them again, will Ovechkin succumb to the pressure? While he’s yet to carry his team deep into the playoffs or anywhere near a championship, I believe Ovechkin has the intangible “IT.” Time will tell.

Like or not, the NHL rests on the shoulders of Ovechkin and Crosby. They are the league’s most marketable stars and are the most attractive playoff matchup the NHL has had in years. That, in addition to matching Crosby’s early success, is a lot of pressure for any 24 year old. Let’s hope he can handle it.

Basketball
Contrary to most NBA superstars, its Duncan’s skills and intelligence that set him apart from his peers, not his athletic ability. In fact, Duncan’s athleticism has all but abandoned him now. He labors up and down the court like my friend Brad after four hours of ball, dragging his knees behind him. Yet, he can STILL put up a 20 and 10 whenever he pleases. That’s right, whenever he pleases.

With Duncan, you won’t see gaudy numbers every night because he won’t force it, especially if his team doesn’t need him to. The stats don’t matter. His playing time doesn’t matter. Winning matters. Take the night of February 18, 2010 for example. Duncan and the Spurs starters were getting ripped by the Houston Rockets. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich went to his bench in the second half. San Antonio’s bench cut into the deficit and kept the team close, cutting the lead to 3 with less than ten seconds to go. Following the game, Duncan was asked about his playing time and the extensive playing time given to the bench. Duncan’s response?

“Our second unit did a good job getting us back into the game. The guys out on the court were the guys making the run. You don’t penalize them and take them out when the score gets close.”

You see, Duncan understands winning. He knows it’s not about him or his touches. Winning is about a cohesive unit where no player is more important than the next. This is why Popovich rips into Duncan at practice like he’s a rookie from the D-League. Duncan has no ego. He sets a precedent for his teammates – No one is above the team and everyone is subject to tough love from the coach. It’s no coincidence the Spurs have been one of the NBA’s elite teams over the past decade.

Watch Duncan play and you’ll appreciate him more and more. He’s a master of his craft. Annually, my brother and I see the Spurs when they visit Philadelphia. I spend most of my time watching Duncan’s every move and cursing the Sixers in-house announcer, Matt Cord. (Seriously, Matt, shut up.) Duncan boxes out with precision and his offensive moves are effective, even though mundane. He worked Samuel Dalembert over so many times that poor Sammy got himself a technical for screaming at the referee. Dalembert then went over to Duncan to say a few things. Duncan’s face didn’t change. On the very next play, he raised his right hand toward his point guard, received the ball, and drew another foul on Dalembert. Sammy went off, got ejected, and Duncan stood there in silence with a blank stare. Just another day at the office.

Duncan has the accolades and titles to further prove what a great player he is. He teammates love and respect him as evidenced in the way he puts his massive hands on their heads to congratulate or encourage them. They don’t shy away either, they embrace it. He’s the alpha wolf looking after his pack.

Duncan’s time in the NBA is winding down. I’m hoping he gives us another long playoff run before he hangs the shoes up for good. Regardless, the best power forward the NBA’s ever seen will be a tough act to replace on my favorite players list. After falling to the Spurs 90-87, in a game where Duncan struggled offensively but still grabbed 26 rebounds, Pacers guard, TJ Ford summed up Duncan in one sentence, “I don’t know too many guys in this league that can go 4-for-23 and still help his team win.” Neither do I TJ. Neither do I.

We’ve entered the black hole of the sports calendar. The Olympics saved us this year, but this is normally a period for reflection, planning, and complete and utter boredom. I’m going to pass some time, specifically three minutes of your time, by sharing how I choose my favorite athletes in the four major sports.

If you consider NASCAR one of those four (a reasonable argument), then I will quickly inform you that I only know the names of a few drivers, that Jimmie Johnson is on a tear similar to Michael Jordan’s early ‘90’s run, and that Toyota drivers are not permitted to pit until their gas pedal issues are resolved. That’s the extent of my NASCAR knowledge. I digress.

Wait, you actually have standards for your favorite players? Why yes, yes I do. In fact, I have specific criteria that must be met. Don’t laugh. If I’m investing my time and hitching my fan trailer to someone, I need to know he’s up to the task.  (Special thanks to my cousin Wayne who shared his input and inspired a future “athletes we like to hate” post coming soon.) Here’s my checklist:

1. Are they too cool to try/care? If so, then I don’t bother. This is like girls that smoke (when I was single, of course). Regardless of how attractive/rich/beautiful she was, smoking was not negotiable. Likewise, acting too cool to try/care is not negotiable. DeSean Jackson is flirting with joining Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, Jose Reyes, Manny Ramirez, Amare Stoudemire, and Richard Jefferson in the “too fly to try” crew. Trying/caring only in big games or when the score is close doesn’t count either. It’s all or nothing. I want guys diving after loose balls, sacrificing their bodies, and giving 110% despite the scoreboard. (Notice I couldn’t come up with any hockey players? Effort is what hockey is all aboot, err about.)
2. Is there enough talent? While I don’t need Michael Jordans, I do need to win games. A fourth string cornerback can work his tail off on special teams, but if he can’t shut down the opposition’s top receiver his effort is irrelevant. Effort is enough for his mom to love him. Not enough to be my favorite player.
3. Would I want to be his teammate? All personal preferences on this one. I can’t pledge my allegiance to a whiner (oops, sorry, didn’t see you there Cindy Crosby). Nor will I root for a “love me some me” egomaniac to succeed (how are you today, Terrell Owens). Finally, it would be impossible for me to support someone whose teammates can’t stand him (here’s to you, Wilt, Barry Bonds, yester year’s Kobe, and yet again, TO).
4. Does he have “IT”? “IT” can’t be taught or acquired. You either have it or you don’t. Tom Brady has it, Donovan McNabb does not. “It” is that uncanny ability to rise to the occasion. To overcome obstacles. To hoist a team on your shoulders and carry them to victory, or more importantly, championships. Derek Jeter, Martin Brodeur (shaking my head), Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger (I just threw up a little) and Dwyane Wade have this.
5. For who? For what? Seriously, Ricky Watters would like to know. I’ll defer to Aaron Rowand for this one. Take it away, Aaron. “For who? My teammates. For what? To win.” Well said.

That’s the current criteria. “For who? For what?” was the latest addition – added in 2007. The list is always changing, so I’ll update it as necessary. Remember, ask not what you can do for your favorite athlete, ask what your favorite athlete must do for you.

Who are my favorite players? Glad you asked…

…coming soon.

Dear Sean Payton, Drew Brees, and the New Orleans Saints,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I have ridiculed your success over the past month. I’m sorry that I have called your coaches and players inadequate. I’m sorry I didn’t believe. I was wrong. You proved that tonight. Now I must face the music.

First, to coach Payton. I’m sorry I underestimated your talent. Even though I still don’t like you (a title won’t change this), you proved you belong in the NFL’s elite coaching fraternity. For the first time ever, the MVP award should have gone to a coach. Your players executed, but you gave them life. The decision to go for the touchdown -down seven late in the first half- was a mistake. And yet, you didn’t back down. You stayed aggressive. The onside kick was brilliant. If it failed, you would have undoubtedly been cast as the goat of Super Bowl XLIV. With the kick’s success, you won your team a Super Bowl Championship. Additionally, your game plan and strategy were impeccable. You’ve proven yourself as one of the best. I’m sorry for making fun of your smirk.

To Drew Brees, I’m sorry I ignored your charisma and leadership, especially this week. Manning was all I could talk about or discuss. Today, you outplayed a legend, and in doing so, became one yourself. When your team was trailing, you provided points. When a big play was needed, you made the throw. In a tight game, you avoided turnovers. I’m sorry I underappreciated you.

To kicker Garret Hartley, I’m sorry I picked the older guy. The ice flowing through your veins was unexpected. From 46, 44, and 47 yards, you were true. I’m sorry I overlooked you.

Finally, to the New Orleans Saints, I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m sorry I picked the Colts. I was certain that enough support had swung your way over the past week to render the “no one believed in us” affect irrelevant. I was clearly wrong. You battled harder, played better, and wanted it more. You took Indianapolis’ powerful jabs early on and overcame your own mistakes to deliver haymakers and uppercuts in decisive moments. I declared you the lesser team, yet you controlled all three facets of the game. As well as you played, Super Bowl 44 came down to three crucial plays. Let’s quickly recap.

One. The Colts conservative play call on 3^rd and 1 with less than a minute in the first half. You don’t turn around after a goal line stand and sit on the football. You’re playing with house money at that point. Manning went 80 yards on 4 plays two weeks ago against the league’s best defense. Throw the ball! If the Colts put 7 on the board there to go up 17-3 at the half, or even 3 to go up 13-3, Payton would never have attempted the onside kick and risk trailing by three scores.

Two. The onside kick. Gutsiest call we may ever see. Payton saw an opportunity to take back the game. The Saints already got lucky with the field goal at the end of the first half after blowing a red zone possession, so Payton knew things were breaking his way. He took a shot and didn’t miss. The Colts were stunned but recovered to regain the lead. Regardless, Payton’s onside kick delivered a shocking blow to a contender that had yet to be cut. Like a boxer surprised by his own blood (think Rocky IV), the Colts were vulnerable and on the ropes for the first time this postseason.

Three. Manning’s game-ending interception. Manning made the call and executed the play. For one of the few times this year, Manning failed to read the defense. Saints CB Tracy Porter jumped the route and booked New Orleans for a Tuesday parade. Manning’s 4^th quarter was horrendous. His throws were off and it was clear he wasn’t comfortable. If I told you Manning’s offense would be outscored 31-7 in the final three quarters you would have laughed. His overall numbers weren’t awful, but Manning failed to score points and literally threw the game away on the potential game-tying drive. Just 24 hours ago Manning was on the verge of establishing himself at the top of “Quarterback-Everest.” After Sunday’s events, Manning will be back in base camp. His ascent was premature, his lungs not ready. The opportunity to reach that peak hasn’t evaporated, not yet anyway. Manning simply needs to recoup, and hope the weather allows him another chance.

For now, New Orleans is the home of the NFL’s elite. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The Saints were the better coaches; the better players; the better team. To the 2009 NFL Champions, I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Ryan

To begin, I hate the Super Bowl. Two weeks of hype and hyperbole are too much for me. I don’t care if Peyton Manning’s brother is friends with Drew Brees. I don’t care if the Mannings’ rooting interests are torn. I’m not even interested in the 9,629 different ways a reporter will ask Dwight Freeney about the medical treatment he’s receiving and whether or not he’ll play. It got so bad this year that I avoided the endless barrage of Super Bowl content by resorting to the movie, Gamer (a mistake I unfortunately cannot reverse). After twelve days, I think I’m ready to delve into the Super Bowl festivities. Join me.

A quick disclaimer: I will be as unbiased and fair in my Super Bowl breakdown as possible, but I want to make clear that I absolutely hate the New Orleans Saints. We’re talking Ali-Vienna of The Bachelor hate. Yeh, it’s that bad. To the breakdown…

Last Week:   2 – 0 – 0
Postseason:  4 – 6 – 0

Coaches
Sean Payton is numero uno on my “reasons I hate the Saints” list. Unfortunately for me, he’s a great coach and approaching “offensive genius” status. He’ll find ways for Brees and the offense to be successful, especially with a limited pass rush from Indy.

Jim Caldwell’s approach is nearly identical to his predecessor’s; quiet yet effective. Sadly, Caldwell is a victim of the “riding Tony Dungy’s coattail” talk. Let’s not forget Caldwell has the Colts in the Super Bowl in his first year after Indianapolis went one-and-done in the playoffs the past two years. He, like Payton, is an excellent coach. The deciding factor will be sideline decorum. Caldwell is stone-faced, Payton has that ghastly smirk. ADVANTAGE: Colts.

Quarterback
I know I’m flying solo here, but I think that Peyton Manning kid is going to be a heckuva quarterback someday. He just needs a little more time. ADVANTAGE: Colts

Running Back
If a single back rushes for more than 100 yards, I will be shocked. New Orleans hasn’t received a 100 yard game from a back since week three. The Colts haven’t had a back surpass the century mark since week 11 … of the 2008 season. In depth analysis that can only be found here: these teams like to throw the football.

Reggie Bush is the wildcard. His touches were limited in the NFC Championship but the Saints will need his explosiveness to keep pace with Manning. Last time the Colts were in the Super Bowl a running back should have won the MVP. Maybe Joseph Addai will give us an encore. ADVANTAGE: Push

Wide Receivers
The Saints have burners in Devery Henderson, Robert Meachem, and Lance Moore, and Marques Colston gives them size across the middle. As deep as their unit is, the Saints receivers looked shaky in the NFC Championship game. Colston dropped some passes, Brees completed less than 55% percent of his throws for the first time all year, and the receivers struggled against Minnesota’s physical corners. The Saints need big plays in the passing game for their offense to reach its full potential. The Vikings successfully took away the deep pass and held the Saints offense to under 200 yards passing. (Yes, the Saints still won, but only because Minnesota handed the Saints the game via five turnovers.)

The Colts, on the other hand, employ a more methodical passing attack. Exploiting mismatches and capitalizing on opportunities make this offense unstoppable. When your quarterback can move defensive players like chess pieces, the receivers can focus entirely on catching the football. The Saints secondary can’t match up here. Reggie Wayne, Austin Collie, and Pierre Garcon will surpass 300 yards, again. ADVANTAGE: Colts

Tight Ends
While he’s as creepy as ever, Jeremy Shockey isn’t the player he once was. Shockey and New Orleans’ other tight end, David Thomas (not that one) combined for 17 fewer receptions, 181 fewer yards, and 4 less touchdowns than Indianapolis’ Dallas Clark. The better quarterback has the better weapons. This could get very ugly. ADVANTAGE: Colts

Offensive Line
Both lines are exceptionally good. Brees was sacked a total of 19 times this season. Manning was sacked on ten occasions. Ten is less than 19. ADVANTAGE: Colts

Special Teams
The punters may be irrelevant if the offenses march up and down the field. If there are more punts than expected, Reggie Bush could be the difference.

Field goals, both missed and made, have been significant in the 2010 playoffs. Indianapolis’ Matt Stover is a proven kicker where as Garrett Hartley is in only his second year. I’ll take the tested veteran. ADVANTAGE: Colts

Defensive Line
Terrell Owens was the last injured player to play and contribute in a Super Bowl. A defensive end that relies heavily on his speed will absolutely be hampered by a bum wheel. There’s no way he’s the same player on Sunday. Without Freeney at 100%, the Colts pass rush will suffer and the Saints will remain in striking distance for most of the game.

The New Orleans front line put a whipping on Brett Favre and Kurt Warner over the past month. Don’t expect Manning to absorb the same blows. Manning has proven he’d rather look like a sissy than get his clock cleaned. His health will be a significant reason he’ll finish as the greatest ever. Peyton knows taking senseless hits won’t win games. A healthy body and clear mind will. Without Freeney in top shape, the Saints get the edge. AVANTAGE: Saints

Linebackers
Would you rather chase Dallas Clark around the field, or contain Reggie Bush and Pierre Thomas on screens? Neither will be easy. ADVANTAGE: Push

Secondary
You can imagine the restless nights these young men have experienced over the past two weeks. Manning and Brees don’t make life easy on opposing defensive backs.  The Colts are young at the corners and will probably be without their usual pass rush. That’s not good news for Colts fans. However, the Colts have more depth in their secondary than the Saints, and safeties Melvin Bullitt and Antoine Bethea are as talented as any safety tandem in the league. The Indy secondary also has the luxury of knowing their offense will score points, allowing them to play more aggressively on defense.

The Saints secondary shares this luxury, but baiting Manning into mistakes is significantly different than baiting Favre. Favre will roll the dice and challenge a defensive back. Manning strings the DB along just long enough to burn him. I know Darren Sharper tried to convince us the Saints will deliver a few “remember me” hits on Manning. I’m inclined to believe Manning will deliver more “remember who I am” throws though. Why insult Peyton by pretending you don’t know if you’re playing Eli or Peyton? I mean seriously. You don’t wrap yourself in beef before camping in Yellowstone do you? I would love it if, after throwing for 350 yards and 4 TDs, Manning finds Sharper at midfield, puts out his right hand and says, “I’m Peyton by the way, and you are?” ADVANTAGE: Colts

Alright, the final tally comes to Colts-7, Saints-1, Push-2. Obviously, I failed to leave my partiality aside. Sorry. I can’t support a city that jumps on a team’s bandwagon only when they’re winning. I didn’t see the Super Dome sold out at the end of the 2008 season, did you? Didn’t think so.

There isn’t much for a fan like myself to root for in this game. The game is being played in Miami. Both contestants are dome teams. The team colors don’t do anything for me. All I have is my hatred for the Saints, my man crush on Peyton Manning, the commercials, and token shots of the Kardashian’s pretending to know what is happening. No, I’m not a fan of the Super Bowl, especially this one. The thought of Sean Payton hoisting the Lombardi Trophy gives me nightmares. It would be equivalent to giving Gerard Butler the Oscar for Gamer.

If I were Charles Barkley…

Speaking of the Round Mound of Rebound… Basketball season is in full swing. This can only mean one thing: More Charles on a regular basis. I couldn’t be happier. On Thursday’s broadcast, Chuck had this to say when asked if the Boston Celtics could get healthy: “Old people don’t get healthy, they die.” Classic. I love the NBA on TNT.

Picks
New Orleans Saints at Indianapolis Colts (-5)

Last Week:  2 – 0 – 0
Postseason: 3 – 7 – 0

Over/Under
New Orleans Saints at Indianapolis Colts Over 56.5

Last Week:  1 – 0 – 0
Postseason: 2 – 1 – 0

(Lines as of 2/5, 5:10PM ET, from bodog)

Before proceeding, let me clarify that I am not against touchdown celebrations, game winning hug-fests, or general euphoria after a fantastic play that warrants recognition. In fact, I generally enjoy these moments. On the other hand, I’m sick of watching a linebacker dance around after a routine tackle, or a tight end flexing his muscles following a first down reception. -Nice job pal, really nice job. Maybe next time you could get back to the huddle before the play clock expires.

While, to some degree, excessive celebrations exist in every sport, football is the absolute worst. Due to the game’s tempo, hockey players don’t have the luxury to stop and pound their chests. The same is true for basketball (mostly). Baseball is full of individual face time (batting, fielding, pitching, baserunning), so hot-dogging barely exists. In football, there’s an endless amount of time between plays. Players exploit this lapse for “me time,” and we’re forced to watch. No mas!

Allow me to introduce the, “Remember When…,” hereby referred to as “RW.” (Yeh, the name sucks. I need help with a better one.) The “RW” would best be explained via a specific scenario. Here we go…

Dallas RB, Marion Barber takes a handoff and rumbles into the secondary. Barber is met with a solid shoulder lunge from Philadelphia CB Asante Samuel. Barber goes down, play is over. Samuel bounces up, darts 20 yards upfield – away from the crowd of players – crosses his arms over his chest, and emphatically nods his head. Celebrating a fundamentally poor tackle, after an 18 yard gain nonetheless, isn’t necessary.

The NFL already has a reputation as the “No Fun League,” so it won’t address this issue. Instead, home teams will need to accept responsibility. If the aforementioned scenario played out at Lincoln Financial Field (Samuel’s home stadium), the crowd would shower Samuel with praise. On the road, Samuel would become the victim of a “RW” segment on the stadium’s video screen. A clip like this or this (go to 27 second mark, the flying missile that bounces is Asante) would be introduced with Michael Jackson’s, “Do you remember the time?…”

Now, here’s the glitch: The home team(s) must embrace this approach. Obviously, they control the video screens in the stadiums. If teams don’t jump on board, the whole thing falls apart. I know what you’re thinking, “Why would a team welcome this in their own stadium?” Three reasons; money, improved fan experience (not that they really care), and money.

Video screens in state of the art stadiums have almost become as big an attraction as the games (see Cowboys Stadium). I have no idea how much advertising revenue these screens generate for a team, but I’d imagine it’s a lot. Due to the comedy factor, the “RW” moment would unquestionably become a fan favorite. As a result, it would be the “prime” in-game advertising slot. (e.g. This “Remember When” moment is brought to you by Burger King, home of Whopper Wednesdays. [Cue Michael Jackson intro…]) Similar to TV’s advertising structure, teams could demand more for these segments.

If you think fans won’t gravitate toward the “RW,” you’re crazy. Anything intended to humiliate the opposing team will always be overwhelmingly popular with the home crowd. It will surpass the kiss cam, dance cam, even the drunk guy with no shirt cam. Next time Dre Bly overreacts in an opponent’s stadium, an “RW” clip will treat fans to Bly’s premature high step routine in 2009 against the Falcons.

Once the “RW” solution is implemented, fans will eagerly wait for an opposing player to make a routine play and excessively celebrate. (This would be very similar to my days walking to class in a winter storm. Someone was going to fall; the anticipation of waiting for such was just too exciting.) Next time your tortured by Shawne Merriman’s “lights out dance” (this play warranted the celebration, it’s the best video I could find though) in your own stadium, the video screen will feature an assortment of Tila Tequila footage mixed with steroid syringes …Whoa… hold on. This could get out of hand. We need some ground rules.

Without regulation, the “RW” would result in lawsuits and possible depression for its victims. What begins as innocent teasing, could escalate to verbal grenades, and culminate in chairs being thrown across the kitchen. (Anyone who shared a house with four males during college is nodding their head right now. We’ve all seen this or been a part of it. It happens.) The goal is to embarrass the opposing player for being a dope, not ruin his life. Therefore, the following rules would apply.

Rule #1: No personal content of any kind may be included. All content must be former plays or comments (football related) made by the individual. Dating history, personal/family life, drug abuse, murders (this one’s for you, Ray) or known venereal diseases are no fly zones.

Rule#2: No video editing. Obviously, footage can be cut to make for more efficient and enjoyable viewing, but photo-shopping, special effects, or creating footage that never actually happened won’t be permitted.

Rule#3: The NFL representative overseeing RW segments must not be a fan of the competing teams. His/her authority must be unbiased in determining whether or not the celebration was unnecessary. (See, more jobs. There’s also potential for teams to hire individuals to scour the internet, game film, interviews, etc… for embarrassing footage of future opponents. The possibilities are endless. I should be President.)

Alright, that’s a cute idea, but it won’t work. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. What we do know is that players celebrate too much. Miles Austin’s stupid first down routine is unbearable, as is a defensive lineman’s two-step after deflecting a pass. The “RW” segments won’t completely eliminate these celebrations, but it will at least decrease their frequency. After all, a player can only handle being the butt of a joke in front of 70,000+ fans so many times. Even a professional athlete’s ego can’t bear that much abuse or humiliation.

Ideally, players will grow accustom to the ridicule associated with stupid celebrations and eliminate them from their game day repertoire. Worst case scenario, players save their celebrating for home games. Absolute worst case scenario, nothing changes and fans love the additional entertainment.

The “RW” is in its infancy stage. There’s plenty of tweaking still to be done. It may not be the perfect solution, but it’s a start. At the very least, fans will get a good laugh. What’s not to like?

(5) Jets 17 at (1) Colts 30
Peyton Manning was simply too much for the New York defense. Even “Revis Island” couldn’t derail Manning. It took 28 minutes, but Manning and the Indianapolis offense eventually solved Rex Ryan’s defense en route to a 30-17 victory that wasn’t as close as the score indicates.

As I mentioned in my preview, the Jets were a good team with luck on their side. That luck ran out Sunday afternoon. Field goal misses went against New York as Jay Feely missed a 44 yard field goal (as well as a 52 yarder), and a defense that had carried the Jets ultimately failed.

It was a game of two very different halves, well almost. With a little over two minutes remaining in the first half with his team trailing by 11, Manning drove the Indianapolis offense on an 80 yard touchdown drive in just over a minute. While the Colts never looked back, the Jets never recovered. Manning picked apart the New York secondary, moving defensive backs with his eyes and pump fakes, and then hitting receivers in stride. It wasn’t always so easy for Manning and the Colts, especially early on.

For most of the first half it looked as if the Jets were going to frustrate Manning and possibly sneak out of Indy with a win. Manning was under siege, surrendering sacks and getting pressured into poor throws. Eventually, the Colts’ offensive line adjusted. As a result, Manning went essentially untouched for the entire second half. Leaving Manning alone in the pocket is trouble. With time, Manning dissected and shredded the secondary down to its core.

Manning didn’t need his two primary targets to do so either. With Darrelle Revis on Reggie Wayne and the Jet linebackers blanketing Dallas Clark, Manning comfortably exploited the Jets secondary via the depth of his receiving corps. As good as Revis was, he couldn’t eliminate all of Manning’s weapons. Pierre Garcon (11-151-TD) and Austin Collie (7-123-TD) ran circles around New York’s other defensive backs. Manning moved the Indianapolis offense at will, sustaining five drives over 70 yards, and only punting once in the second half (excluding a fourth quarter punt after the game was decided). In the biggest game of the year, against the league’s best defense, Manning was unstoppable.

In a conference championship game there are usual more aspects to cover. Yes, the Indy defense deserves a great deal of credit for containing the Jets ground game, and Mark Sanchez deserves a nod for playing well. But in the end, today was about Manning. Once he hit Collie for three straight passes and a touchdown to close the first half, the game was over. I knew it, the Jets knew it, and Manning knew it. I’m glad we get to watch for one more week.

(2) Vikings 28 at (1) Saints 31 OT
Fumbling six times and throwing two interceptions won’t produce conference championships. On the other hand, an overtime defeat must be the most favorable outcome in the history of the NFL when a team is as careless with the ball as the Minnesota Vikings were on Sunday evening. I’m not one to argue the better team lost, because if they were better, they’d have won. But tonight’s Vikings team? Whoooooff. How many touchdowns do they win by if the Saints don’t figure out the fumble button on the joystick? At least two, right? Regardless, that was one of the sloppiest playoff games I’ve ever seen. The officiating was dreadful, the coaching was questionable, and the mistakes were endless. Maybe we should just give the Jets a second shot at the Colts for the Super Bowl.

Of the final four teams, New Orleans was the team I couldn’t bear to see in Miami. Now, because Minnesota resorted to earplugs, the Saints will headline the sports world for the next two weeks, and longer if they upset the Colts. I might have to hibernate. I knew this would happen. It was inevitable. Interceptions, fumbles, earplugs; even Brett Favre can’t overcome that lineup.

Let’s start with Brad Childress’ game management at the close of the 4^th quarter. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but when did a 51 yard field become a comfortable distance for a game-winning kick? Two conservative run calls for no gain were baffling. Even in a dome, you have to give your kicker at least six more yards there. Not moving the ball on first or second down forced the Vikings into a difficult position on third down. Third and long (even longer after the penalty) allowed the Saints to be more aggressive in forcing a mistake. Childress’ whole sequence there was a disaster, even for an Andy Reid disciple… and that’s saying something. I understand running the ball to keep the clock moving. I agree with keeping the clock running. However, you can do that with a screen or the inside slants/curls that were successful all game, anything to move the ball. Another first down should have been the priority with running the clock as the secondary goal. Childress’ decision to prioritize eating the clock cost his team a shot at the Super Bowl. Get in reasonable field goal range, and then worry about the clock. Not vice versa.

Minnesota’s turnovers will also haunt them for a long, long, long time. Their performance was Bill Buckner-esque. Favre’s performance, while subpar, wasn’t surprising. I witnessed the 4^th and 26 miracle back in 2004. What’s often lost in that game was Favre’s awful interception in overtime. That interception led to the Eagles’ victory. The same was true two years ago when Favre handed the Giants a trip to the Super Bowl. Favre’s done this before. To be surprised would be naive. It’s equivalent to finding out a politician lied or your investment portfolio tanked.

The fumbles, on the other hand, I can’t believe. Six, count them, 1 2 3 4 5… six fumbles. I’m sure there’ve been more in a single game, but that’s the worst I’ve ever seen. Even though only three were ultimately lost, two were surrendered inside the ten yard line. Inside the ten! That’s at least six points in a game the Vikings lost by… hold on, let me check… oh that’s right… they lost by three… in overtime!!!! Brett Favre and the Vikings had a Super Bowl berth in their grasp and literally let it slip through their hands.

I know I’m supposed to praise the Saints for hanging tough and pulling this one out. I can’t do it. Please explain to me where it would have been tough for New Orleans to “hang around.” Turnovers offer the quickest momentum change in football. If anything, we should be praising Minnesota for hanging tough. Five turnovers plus three more fumbles is more than enough to make a team say, “It’s just not our day,” and give up and go home. The Vikings continued to battle and almost overcame a horrific performance. The Saints didn’t hang around; like an annoying friend at a boring party, the Vikings wouldn’t let them leave.

I’ve read a lot of blame heaped upon the officials too. Arguing they made sure the New Orleans fairytale didn’t end. I agree they blew the pass interference call at the end and some lousy calls elsewhere. However, if the game were fixed, the NFL would want Favre in the big game. While it’s hard to excuse such an atrocious call with the game on the line (the pass interference call), the officials weren’t as awful as either fan base would argue. Alright, that’s enough. My head is spinning. I can’t keep going. I’ll cut to the New Orleans locker room to close this week’s recap (this may have actually happened)…

Sean Payton (surrounded by his players while holding a football up): “Great Job today gentlemen. You hung in there, believed in each other, and now we’re going to the Super Bowl!!! Who Dat?!”  “Now… (players screaming, celebrating)…Now, let’s make sure this game ball goes where it belongs.” (Dramatic pause)… “To the Minnesota Vikings! Without them, we’d be blubbering babies right now.”

Agreed. Now let’s cut to the Minnesota locker room (this definitely happened)…

Brett Favre (standing in the middle of a dejected locker room with the team around him): “Balls on the ground, balls on the ground! Looking like fools putting the balls on the ground! Choking in your throat. Got hit sideways. Balls to the ground!”

I wasn’t overly excited about the NFL’s Conference Championships when the matchups were determined last Sunday evening. Then I watched Terminator Salvation and decided things could be worse. I could be running from killer machines, living in a desolate world, and listening to Christian Bale’s over-the-top Batman voice on my transistor radio. Upon further review, the conference championships have enough to entertain. Here’s my simple checklist:

1. A team to root for: Colts. Peyton needs another title to validate his legacy as greatest QB ever. I think he deserves it.
2. A team to hate: The ‘Nawlins Saints. My most hated NFL team outside of the Birds’ NFC East foes.
3. An underdog: Jets. Raise your hand if you had the J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! In the AFC Championship back in September. Now, for those of you that raised your hand, raise your hand again if you’re a liar.
4. A coach to ridicule: Brad Childress. I’m too excited for his first boneheaded call.
5. An outdoor stadium with temperatures below freezing: Oh, yeh. I forgot. We’ve got three soft teams in the final four. Bummer.

This isn’t the complete list, simply the essentials. Four out of five isn’t terrible. After all, watching the games won’t be as challenging (or confusing) as trying to save my dad … to send him back in time to my mom … so that I could be born. John Connor had it rough. Enough nonsense, onto the games…

Last Week:   2 – 2 – 0
Postseason:  2 – 6 – 0

Sunday, January 17

(5) Jets at (1) Colts (3:00PM ET)
The Jets are a scary team. Their fierce defense and physical ground game are enough to beat any opponent. Their mind games off the field aren’t bad either. Rex Ryan is a master at twisting opponent’s ordinary statements into insults. Ryan then uses the contrived insults to rally his team. Sounds lame but it’s actually brilliant. Ryan’s imposing his style on the opponent before either team has stepped onto the field. Beware what you say, Colts. The Jets are listening. (I can relate to the Colts here. The other night while watching The Bachelor, (crap, shouldn’t have admitted that) I mentioned that the guy (ok, I know his name is Jake) sent one of the more attractive girls home. “What?!” My wife said. “You think SHE’s attractive? … Awe man, I must be ugly.”) So yeah, the Colts better watch what they say this week.

I’ve picked against the Jets throughout the postseason. Naturally, I’m inclined to do so here as well. The talk this past week has focused on the Jets. The Jets know how to win; they hang around long enough to deliver the knockout blow; the Chargers were no match for New York…Blah blah blah. If the NFL’s most productive kicker over the past three seasons doesn’t have the worst game of his life, the Jets are on vacation right now. If Nate Kaeding makes even two of those kicks (I’ll excuse the 50+ yarder), we’d hear all about how the Jets played tough, but just weren’t good enough. So, a kicker chokes and the 2009 Jets go from not quite good enough to the greatest Jets team since Joe Namath led the green and white. You gotta love the playoffs. The Jets are a tough, solid team… that got LUCKY. That’s it. Did they block those kicks? No. Granted, they kept the offense out of the end zone, so they deserve credit for forcing the field goals. Regardless, I’m not jumping behind Rex Ryan’s sweater vest because the NFL’s best kicker thought the yellow goalposts meant “Caution, stay away.” I refuse.

Speaking of field goals, make sure to pay close attention when the Colts attempt their first field goal. If Matt Stover nails it through the uprights, there will be a riot on New York’s sideline. Confusion, anger, heartbreak; it will all be there. Opposing kickers are 0-5 against the Jets in the playoffs to this point. They’re arrogant enough to think they’ve earned the misses. Rex’s father, Buddy, may even punch an assistant coach (again).  

Maybe Buddy could sock Peyton Manning for me too. After confidently predicting that Manning would excel in the playoffs, he’s performing his usually “unstoppable in the regular season, average QB in the postseason” routine. I thought we’d be past this, Peyton. Perhaps Eli got the clutch gene. I digress.

The Colts’ offense has more weapons than the Chargers’, including a deeper receiving corps. Additionally, the Indy defense was successful last week by containing Baltimore’s rushing attack, thus forcing an unproven quarterback to win the game. While the Jets’ ground game is superior to Baltimore’s, the key to winning remains the same for the Colts (stop the run). Indianapolis has the best defensive end duo in football (Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis). If they’re able to tee-off on Mark Sanchez, he will struggle immensely.

As long as the Jets stay within in striking distance (two scores or less), they’ll continue to run the football. Peyton Manning will need to put up points early to help his defense. As we saw last week, the New York offensive line is too good for a defense to handle the entire game. Building a sizeable lead will force the Jets to abandon the run, letting the Colts’ pass rushers to force Sanchez into mistakes. Conversely, allowing the Jets to hang around could be disastrous. If you’re the Colts, “lucky” and “good” are two things you don’t want to mess with in the 4^th quarter when a Super Bowl berth is up for grabs. The longer the game remains close, the more it favors New York. For Indianapolis, winning big early is the key to winning at all.

The past week has been full of upsets; Vienna received a rose on The Bachelor (shoot, I did it again), the Jets defeated the Chargers, Avatar ran away with the Golden Globe, and Massachusetts went Republican after a legendary Democrat passed away. This can’t continue, right? It has to end sometime. The new week will bring normalcy.

Jets fans can all thank me now. By confidently picking against them for the third consecutive time, I’ve guaranteed their place in Super Bowl XLIV. Congratulations, New York. COLTS

(2) Vikings at (1) Saints (6:40PM ET)
As a personal rule, I never back teams that intend to wear earplugs to combat crowd noise in an opponent’s stadium. No, I’m not making this up. The Minnesota Vikings have reportedly issued “custom-fitted earplugs” to players in preparation for Sunday’s game in the Superdome. Commence laughter now. Am I wrong here, or does this confirm that Minnesota is already intimidated? Hey, we’re kinda frightened by your home field advantage, so we’re gonna go with earplugs. Please refrain from trash talk as we’ll be unable to hear. Trash sign language is acceptable. Even for Brad Childress, this is embarrassing. I can’t, in good conscience, pick the Vikings now.

Let’s pretend for a moment that I’m still considering Minnesota. With the ferocious pass rush they demonstrated last week, the Vikings could slow down Drew Brees. Without time, Brees won’t have the luxury to hit his receivers deep downfield. Instead, New Orleans would need to adjust to a quicker passing game, one that favors Minnesota’s athletic linebackers and aggressive corners (don’t believe me? See the Cowboys’ failure last week). The Saints could also run the ball to offset Jared Allen and the Minnesota pass rush. However, I’m not expecting the same performance from Mr. Kardashian, and I’m not a true believer in the Saint’s overall ground game either.

Offensively, the Vikings must get Adrian Peterson going, especially if Brees is clicking. Eat the clock, control the line of scrimmage, and use the play-action to stretch the field. Favre’s performance last week makes me less confident in his play this week. He can’t pull that off two weeks in a row can he? Yeah, you’re right. Nothing that man does should surprise me anymore. I’ve never liked Favre more than when he performed “Pants on the ground” in the locker room after beating Dallas. THAT’S who I want leading my football team. Twelve year-olds can’t match his passion. It’s unbelievable.

Some extra insight for your time… If you can’t figure out why NBC sided with Leno over Conan, look at the Favre situation. The Packers wanted to progress with younger talent (Aaron Rodgers) and hoped the legend would retire. Favre retired but wanted back in at the expense of Rodgers. Green Bay chose the younger guy and sent Favre to a competing network, I mean team. Less than two years later, the Packers are at home with their young quarterback watching the legend and his new employer on the cusp of a Super Bowl berth. NBC applied the Favre situation to their quandary. As a result, NBC chose the “legend” and sent the young talent packing.

I’m telling you, “sports” permeate all aspects of life. Watch sports for a lifetime and you’ll have the answer to any situation thrown your way. (I use this “truth” to support my case when my wife tells me our kids won’t be permitted to watch football for 12 straight hours. She’s getting there.)

And back to the game… There’s a lot of support for the Vikings after last week’s demolition of the Cowboys. In my opinion, that support would swing the other way if the Vikings won on Saturday and the Saints blew out the Cardinals on Sunday. The Vikings won more recently. Therefore, they’ll receive the bulk of attention from the media and fans. I can’t prove this, it’s just my opinion.

Anyway, I want Minnesota to win because Favre’s a nice story, but more so because I’ll have to pluck out my eyes if Sean Payton hoists the George Halas Trophy. I also like the Vikings because of their defense. DeMarcus Ware gave Brees fits and I expect Jared Allen to do the same. Unfortunately, I can’t break my own rule. Resorting to ear plugs equals defeat. SAINTS

If I were Charles Barkley…

I’m considering dropping this portion of my weekly preview for the 2010 season. I haven’t been this embarrassed since riding to school in my older sister’s 1980 Chevy Citation. (We called it the “Brown Bomber.” I made my friend sit in the front seat. Seriously.)

Picks
New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts (-8)
Minnesota Vikings (+4) at New Orleans Saints

Last Week:  1 – 3 – 0
Postseason: 1 – 7 – 0

Over/Under
New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts Over 39

Last Week:  0 – 1 – 0
Postseason: 1 – 1 – 0

(Lines as of 1/21, 5:44PM ET, from bodog)